Telltale ~ Liam Gallagher

JULY 2001 - CONT

I feel sick.

But not the unwell kind of sick.

The kind of sick you feel after you've had too many takeaways in a row, your stomach bloated and body tired, reluctant to eat anything else.

That's how I feel right now, a bit like a beached whale who has been starved of water (or in my case oxygen) for too long.

Someone shakes my hand rapidly and with force, my eyes blinking into the light above me.

I can't be dead. And if I am then all those beliefs I once branded as 'complete and utter bollocks' were right; I can see a light, right at the end of the tunnel...

And I'm definitely going to hell. There's no way whomever's job it is to decide where people go after death would let me into heaven now. I've been so rude about it all and so stubborn. To hell it is then.

But if this is hell, why is someone shaking my hand so manically?

"Penny? Can you hear me?" That voice doesn't belong to the devil. I know it too well. Soft and camp at the edges, a welcoming accent... Joshua?

You know how cats have a third eyelid which feels a bit like jelly to touch? That's how my eyes feel. So much gunk and water swimming about my scleras I can scarcely see.

"My eyes-" I mutter hoarsely - clearly I haven't spoken for a while.

Joshua fumbles for a tissue and wipes them down, making my vision clearer.

"Christ Penny you gave us all a shock!" Joshua chuckles, gripping my hand tightly. "I was meant to be at the gay quiz night tonight, that's how much I love you." He leans forward and plants a kiss on my forehead.

"Tonight?"

"Yes."

I push my elbows down into the bed and try to prop myself up as best as I can. "But you were going to take me for a drink tonight?"

Joshua sighs and shakes his head. "That wasn't tonight."

"It was!" I want to shout and protest but my voice comes out quieter than a whisper, and like gravel, as though I've been chain smoking for the last ten years.

He peers into my eyes, a solemn look on his face. "Penny, that was last week."

I groan and attempt to cover my face with my hands but they are too heavy to move. At least I still have them.

"So you remember that night then? The night the accident happened?"

I nod slowly.

In summary, I got hit by a car. And it was my fault.

"You've broken your right foot and sprained your arm, that's all."

'That's all' makes it seem as though it is nothing.

He smiles sympathetically and takes a hold of my hand. "Penny, there's something I should-"

"Fuckin' ridiculous." A gruff voice complains from the entrance of my room. "How can a hospital run out of milk? Outrage. An absolute outrage."

"Liam-" Joshua stars. It's obvious that Liam hasn't noticed I'm awake, too busy complaining about the lack of milk to care.

"That's the bloody government for you. Lack of fundin'. Means us lot get no milk for our teas and coffees whilst the fat cats drink it straight from the udder."

"Liam!" Joshua shouts sharply causing the scruffy looking man - who you would never guess is a millionaire - to spin round immediately.

"Shittin' hell, when did she wake up?" Liam sits down by my bedside, placing down his black tea on the table next to my high-tech hospital bed.

"About a minute or two ago."

"How are you feelin'?"

I clear my throat and try to turn my head to face him but can't, it won't move. Instead I talk to the ceiling. "Would you like the physical feeling or emotional?"

Liam shrugs, "Both I suppose."

"Well physically I feel weak and useless. My body feels as though weights have been tied to each of my limbs and I've been dropped in the ocean." I pause to catch my breath. "And emotionally? I feel betrayed."

"Betrayed?" Liam queries.

"Yes. Betrayed. You should never have come to my work place, especially since you knew I worked there. Never. It's my space and not yours. You can eat anywhere but that restaurant is the only place I work."

"Penny I'm-"

"I am not finished." I warn him, feeling Joshua tear his fingers from my hand. "I feel betrayed in myself aswell, for letting my feelings get the better of me. If I had my shit together I wouldn't have run out like that. So there, that's how I feel."

Both men are completely stunned. Speechless.

Joshua awkwardly removes himself from his chair and mutters something along the lines, "I need a piss," before leaving Liam and I alone in my cold hospital room.

Liam stays dead quiet, taking a sip of his dark tea every thirty seconds or so.

It's awkward to say the least. I haven't spoken to him in quite a few months now, it's almost like I've forgotten how.

"You don't have to stay here you know." I force the words out of my lungs like they are heavier than stone.

He chuckles to himself, an all too familiar sound, and shakes his head causally. "Course I do. Afterall, I'm the reason you're lyin' here with half your body brown."

I wince in pain as I try to sit up, "My fault mainly. I should've been looking where I was going."

"So are you sayin' I'm alright to leave?" He queries as stands up from his chair. "If it's your fault and not mine?"

"Are you actually taking the piss?" I blurt out, suddenly a lot more pissed off than I was a few moments ago.

My outburst causes Liam to explode into a fit of 'manly' giggles, "Yes I'm takin' the piss! How low d'you think I am? You're so easy to wind up love."

I smirk and fiddle with the IV protruding from the back if my right hand. "I hate you."

"I hate you too."

"So we're even then? On the hate scale?"

Liam waits for a few moments before smiling genuinely, small creases appearing around his eyes as he does so. "We're even Miss Lane - but not on the hate scale."

/////

Visiting hours are over leaving me alone in a oddly scented hospital room. I really cannot place the smell; like disinfectant but more fishy... It's horrible. I'm really glad I was out of it for a week and completely unaware of the awful odour I was lying in.

I turn over (a massive achievement) and get a facefull of flowers. After recovering from the pollen-y mess I notice a tiny slip of paper amidst the roses.

At first I thought it was just one of those gift tags people sometimes put on a bouquet but when I open it out I get a massive surprise which fills my mind with bittersweet memories.

THINGS LIAM IS NOT ALLOWED TO SAY:

- that Penny even looks sexy in a hospital gown.