When you Say Goodbye

Enough

Warning: 1) alcoholic 

2) mental disorder. 

Dhruv opened the front door and walked inside. All the lights were off except for a light that was on someplace at the top of the stairs. There was an awkward silence throughout the house. The blinds were down and that made the room darker. The windows were shut, and the air was stuffy. Through the open door of the kitchen, he could make out the outline of the morning coffee cup on the table. He hung his jacket on the banister and went into the kitchen. In the kitchen, the dirty dishes were piled up in the sink and they were stinking, and immediately, Dhruv's stomach sank, heart picked up speed.

"Shreya?" It was airless there.

"Babe?" Dhruv reached out, hesitated, and then closed his fingers about the door handle of their bedroom. Taking a deep breath, he pushed it open. "Shreya?"

The bedroom seemed even darker, not a single ray of sunshine poking through the thick curtains. He gave his eyes a moment to adjust, all he could see was a blanket covering a lump on the bed. He approached slowly; every step was an effort as if some invisible force was pulling him back towards the front door.

"Shreya?" He whispered her name as if it were a plea, a prayer even. More than that.

He moved to the side of the bed Shreya was on, and crouched, hand suspended between himself and Shreya. Finally, he reached the rest of the way to place it gently where Shreya's shoulder should be. "Hey babe, it's me." There was no response, and Dhruv swallowed the panic down, shaking her a bit. "Shreya?" he asked, a bit of tension leaking through.

Her body moved beneath his hand and a quiet grunt. Dhruv took that as permission as he pulled the blanket from over her head, his heartbeat slowly declined, he brushed his hand over her cheek and then tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Shreya blinked her eyes open and stared back at her husband's face.

"What's going on? Are you okay?"

"Hmmm. Just tired, I am so happy to see you back." She was smiling, but not really smiling. The mouth was turned up kind of the way it did to smile, but the eyes were blank. He kissed her sweeping his lips against her fevered skin. Dhruv closed his eyes; guilt had been collecting in his eyes. He breathed through it, running a soothing hand along Shreya's belly. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have left."

Before he could even try to get up from the bed, Shreya held up a hand to stop him. "Lay down next to me?"

Dhruv obliged, crawling under the duvet and slinging an arm around her waist, ignoring the fact that the day was slowly turning into evening.

"Did you have fun?"

Dhruv hesitated "It was okay," he said casually.

"Was Ditiya there?"

"Shreya!"

"What we used to be friends." she let out a laugh that didn't sound funny. It sounds sad. Dhruv cringed.

Dhruv could tell that she was drunk by the strong smell of alcohol on her breath, "how much beer did you take?"

Shreya moved a little, and Dhruv quickly loosened his arms, expecting her to move away, but she stayed. She adjusted her head position "Don't know what you're talking about."

He could feel his face flaming and took a deep breath to calm himself down. Focus, Dhruv! He reminded himself that she wasn't well. "Shreya?"

"Don't worry, only four cans?" She looked at him shyly and then ducked her head.

Dhruv pushed his hands into his hair, biting hard at his lip to keep himself from screaming.

The bed moved as Shreya rolled over to face her husband. Her eyes sparkling. He felt her breath before he felt her hands. Her arm snaked around his neck. "Hey, I swear. Don't be angry please."