When you Say Goodbye

Should've

Dhruv was yelling "Okay, okay, I'm comin', I'm comin'" he woke up and he realized somebody was knocking on the door.

His head was pounding. It was like the insides had swollen so much they were pushing on his skull. His eyes also hurt really bad. He never noticed the morning sun so bright and glaring before. He rolled over to push his face into his pillow, and his stomach couldn't keep up with the rest of the body. For a second he thought he was going to vomit.

This must be the reason of he cried him to sleep last night, he thought vaguely. Man, I am sick. As he peered through the peephole, the last person in the world he expected to see was standing on the other side of the door, Ditiya's beautiful face was flawed only by the creases of concern. She knocked again, and this time a feeble voice said, through the cracks. "Dhruv, I know you don't want to see me, but I'm here. I'm sorry I wasn't here before. I'm really sorry, Dhruv. Can I come in? Can I please see you? Shit, Dhruv, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry this happened. I'll be here, okay? I'm not going to leave."

Dhruv stared at the closed door, attempting to control his breathing. If he listened close enough, he could hear Ditiya's breathing on the other side.

Minutes passed, and Dhruv didn't move from where he was standing, did not move a limb. He stood there for around ten minutes, staring into nothing, not thinking. He counted his breaths and the tiles on floors. Another five minutes later, his hand trembling as he touched the door handle, slowly, carefully turning the knob. The door cracked as it began to open. When he opened it, he was surprised to find Ditiya sitting on the concrete step before his front door, her knees up against her chest and her cheeks and the tip of her nose flushed red from the cold weather.

Dhruv stared at her, feeling the blood in his veins speed up and the color returned to his skin. He tried to think, tried to process feelings, but he was stuck. He swallowed, and without realizing, he went and sat beside her on the concrete. She looked up to find him watching her. Their eyes met, and as cliché, as it sounded, time stood still.

"Dhruv," she said, so soft it was barely audible. It was all Dhruv needed before he buried his face into Ditiya's shoulder and started to cry.

Ditiya's arms snake around his neck, pulling him closer, pressing her body against his. Dhruv cried and cried as she kissed him on the forehead just as tenderly as she did when they didn't use to act stranger, and he cried some more. She rubbed his side and whipped his tears away with her thumb. Dhruv couldn't breathe, suffocated through his own sobs and memories and guilty heart. Dhruv was not sure if he felt worse or better than he had in the last two months.

Ditiya was the first to say something, nudging her forehead against Dhruv's temple and whispering, "I'm so sorry." And then, "It wasn't your fault."

Dhruv let a choked sound escape from his throat and pulled Ditiya closer to him. "It was. It was."

"No." She shook her head in disagreement, or maybe denial. "It wasn't. I promise it wasn't."

Dhruv spent the next one or little more hour wrapped in Ditiya's arms, going through a cycle of uncontrollable wailing to quiet hiccups. "Shhhh." She touched him again. She leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead again, her hair brushing along his cheeks and ears while every emotion to take over Dhruv.

Then, without warning, Dhruv silently untangled himself from Ditiya. He stood up and went back to his house, closing the door behind him without a glance, leaving her standing in that cold weather. Dhruv stood with his ear pressed to the wood, for more than half of an hour until he heard the chugging sound of the car going far and far.

The following day, after an hour of intense self-debating filled with good intentions, Dhruv dialed his brother's number. He could hear the phone rang. He cleared his throat nervously and prepared himself to plead his brother to tell Ditiya not to come to his house again, not to contact him. He told Arjun that he is wasn't mad at Ditiya and that she should not include herself into Dhruv's misfortune life.