A New Start

All I Want Is To Be Loved

*trigger warning*

About two and a half months went by and Sebastian was out of my life for good he went to prison for child abuse and I don't have to worry about him anymore and I couldn't be happier about that. Me and ciel became closer in the past two and a half months and I think no I know I fell in love with him his beautiful blue hair his two different colored eyes one being purple and one being blue that he doesn't really like others seeing so he wears that eye patch and I love his soft kissable lips oh how they would fit so perfectly on mine oh how I wish I could kiss him I hope ciel feels the same about me

me and ciel went to the park that was not far from my house he said that he had something important to tell me

"so ciel what is it you want to tell me?" I asked ciel as I sat on the swing in the park just swaying back and forth slightly

"I wanted you to meet someone" ciel told me and this girl with short black hair up to the length of her shoulders and brown almond eyes and was wearing a purple crop top with jean shorts with brown boots

"whos this?" I asked looking at ciel

"this is Stella...my girlfriend" Ciel said with a slight smile on his face I never seen ciel smile before it was new and when he said this Stella girl was his girlfriend my eyes widened and my heart shattered I was shocked and heart broken I tried so hard not to cry but it was so hard to keep the tears in it felt all new to me the light in my eyes disappearing my heart felt as if it just got stomped on a million different times I never felt this sort of pain before I think its what people call heart break

"its nice to meet you" I said with a soft fake smile on my face trying to hold back the tears and pain I was feeling

"Alois? are you okay?" Ciel asked

"yeah..im fine" I said hiding the pain I felt I hated this feeling it felt so much worse then what Sebastian ever did to me

"I got to go I just remembered my uncle needed me" I told ciel which was a lie uncle would still be at work coming home soon this Stella girl just nodded

"Alright talk to you later then?" ciel said

"yeah sure" I said running home I ran inside took off my shoes and sat there on the sofa in the living room hugging my knees rocking back and forth crying more and more

about five to ten minutes went by me still crying I heard my uncle coming home from work and noticed me crying so he walked up to me and said

"Alois? why are you crying did something happen?"

I only nodded choking on my tears

"what happened?" uncle asked

"ciel he..." is all I could say

"what did he do?" uncle said

"he...has a girlfriend" I said bursting into tears shaking

"oh my" uncle said rubbing my now healed back but there will always be the scares uncle knew that I had a thing for ciel since the beginning when I told uncle that I thought I was gay uncle also knew that I was going to tell ciel how I really feel today but there's no use now he's happy and with someone that makes him happy I could never do that even how hard I tried I never even made ciel smile before I guess this is for the best he can be happy without me...

my thoughts kept flooding my head telling me all these depressing things that I'm not worth it that its not worth living if I cant have the one I love what am i thinking i cant die there's still hope all I want is to be loved

I dont even remember picking up the blade and sliced my arm I didn't feel it I didn't feel the pain the blade gave me all I felt was the pain ciel gave me I sat the blade down and quickly walked out of the house and seen the empty park I passed the park when it began to rain I walked over to Ciels house in the pouring rain and my arm dripping blood from earlier I then knocked on the door to Ciels home and as soon as he opened it I passed out into his arms

To Be Continued

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