BLAKE | a. hotchner

15

I walked into the not so busy office. It was Wednesday and we came home from a case in Kentucky just yesterday, which meant; paperwork day..

I sighed.

All I could do on these days were write down exactly what had happened on the case, I wasn't allowed to do anything else due to the fact that I was only a consultant and not an actual agent.

I sat down at my desk and started writing and writing and writing. I think I wrote for two hours before my hand started cramping and I had to take a break.

The whole team, well except for Aaron, was also working on their paperwork. No one said a word, I guess we all were tired from the last days events.

Without Aaron we all had to work twice as hard, this showed that he was such an important piece of the puzzle. His intellect was beyond anything I had ever seen and I couldn't help but being selfish and hoping he would come back soon so that I didn't have to work as hard on the cases.

"How's the paperwork going?" Garcia showed up at my desk.

"Slow," I sighed.

" Do you wanna grab lunch?" She asked.

"Sure," I smiled. "Let me just finish this page."

Garcia nodded.

"Did I hear lunch?" Dave approached us.

"You sure did, wanna come?" Garcia asked with a smile.

"Always," Dave smirked.

"Can I come too?" Reid looked up from his desk.

"What the hell, why don't you all tag along?" Garcia looked at Reid, then Morgan and then JJ.

"Yeah, I could use a break," JJ put down her pen.

"Me too," Morgan said before standing up.

We took the elevator down and started to search for a decent place to eat.

"Why don't we just grab chinese food?" Morgan said, annoyed because we had walked past at least twenty different restaurants by now.

"No we ate that last time, I want sushi" Garcia answered with a stern voice.

"No, not sushi!" I whined.

"Why not?" Garcia asked with furrowed eyebrows.

"I don't like sushi," I said with a shrug.

"How can you not like sushi?!" Garcia gasped.

"Well, the thought of raw fish with overcooked rice doesn't really get my stomach going," I smirked.

"I can't even look you, I'm so disappointed," Garcia said and turned her face away from me.

I laughed. "Sorry, we can eat sushi if you want," I smiled. "I'll just have some soya for lunch."

"No, no, let's just have pizza," Garcia chuckled and pointed at an Italian restaurant in front of us.

"Now we're talking," Dave said.

I laughed once again before entering the small restaurant.

Lunch was good, great actually.

It took my mind off Aaron and Jack. They had been haunting my thoughts for the last couple of months and it didn't help that I had to sleep on my back due to the fact that laying in another position caused unbearable pain in my stomach. I had never been able to sleep when I slept on my back and that led to just staring at the ceiling and letting the thoughts wander.

Like; will he ever come back to work? Will he ever be the same person he was before? Will he ever be okay? Did Jack suffer? Does he blame me?

Jesus, I needed that lunch.

***

We got back to the office just in time to see the door to Aaron's office closing, leaving the person who closed it inside of his office.

"Is he back?" JJ asked quietly.

"No idea," I answered.

We were quiet for a minute, just leaving us to our own thoughts.

"Well, I'm gonna find out," I broke the silence and headed towards Aaron's office.

I didn't know what I was expecting, Aaron or maybe Strauss or could it possibly be his replacement?

No, never.

Just as I was about to knock, the door flew open and I stood face to face with a man in a grey suit.

"Aaron," I said, quieter than I intended to.

"Alex," he responded.

His face was so close to mine that I could feel his minty fresh breath on my cheek. I stared into his eyes and somehow got lost in them.

It was like I had never really noticed how beautifully brown they were, it had just been brown eyes up until this moment.

When I thought about it, all his facial features were rather attractive. He was handsome, he really was and I knew that, I just didn't really know, you know?

"Alex? Hello? Have I lost you?" Aaron's fingers snapping in front of my face took me back to reality.

"Sorry, you were saying?" I shook my head to clear my vision and then continued my eye contact with him.

"We should talk," he said and moved away from the door, gesturing me to come inside.

"Uh, yeah, sure," I walked into his office and he closed the door behind me.

I sat down on his couch while he continued to stand in front of me.

"How are you?" He asked.

I let out a breath. He was asking how I was?

"It hurts, but it's tolerable," I answered. "What about you?"

"I'm managing," he leaned against his desk.

"I realize that we haven't really had the chance to talk since..ehm.." he paused and I could see him swallowing uncomfortably.

"You pointed out my lack of following orders, yes I agree," I smirked.

He let out a quiet laugh and stood up.

"I apologize if I offended you, I certainly didn't mean to," he walked up to the couch and sat down on the table in front of me.

He was so close to my face again and to be honest, I wanted him to be.

"It was nothing I couldn't handle," I said, staring into his eyes.

"But I was referring to the night on the balcony, on that motel?" He said questioning, like he thought I had forgotten about it.

"Ah yes, I do remember that," I smiled.

"I was only wondering when I can take you out for real?" He whispered in my ear, his lips brushing against my cheek.

"Oh, uhm.. I'm sorry, Aaron," I said, pulling back. "I thought you were aware of me and Scott," I said with furrowed eyebrows.

He opened his mouth a little in shock. "Oh, forgive me, I thought that was only a one time thing?"

"Yeah it was supposed to be, but I guess not," I said with a sad face, he was mad and I felt guilty.

"I see," he mumbled before standing up and walking behind his desk.

"I'm sorry," I stood up.

"So you've said," he muttered.

I sighed, I didn't expect this conversation to turn this way.

"Would you please close the door behind you?" he said, more as a command than a question, as I headed towards the door.

"Of course," I answered.

I left the room and did as he asked, leaving me with my head against his door and feeling like a complete jerk.