r.e.m. | ashton irwin | ongoing

four

being honest i have no idea where i'm going with this so i'm sorry if it's horrible also this is like a 2 month time jump

KALANIS POV

i feel empty, it's been two weeks since i last talked to ashton. i put on a smile when i get to school or go to grayson's house but it's so hard, i'm on the verge of tears all the time. whenever i see ashton at grayson's house or at school i just wanna run up to him and hug him, but i can't.

"i'm not letting you talk to him anymore slut!" tayler shouts at me. "okay" i mumble. "if i ever see you two looking at each other i'm gonna mess him up so bad." he says staring straight at my eyes causing me to squirm under his intimidating glare. "okay." i say tears starting to well in my eyes. "don't fucking cry about this kalani, you caused it. if you weren't so slutty all the time and didn't fuck him that after i left that night." he says grabbing my arm. i want to yell at him so badly and tell him what really happened because the dipshit didn't seem to understand that we fell asleep like that. i just couldn't because last time i tried to tell him, i stop myself from thinking about it too much knowing i would burst into tears.

"i miss him so bad." i say to louis across the roof. "i don't get why you cant just break up with tayler, he's only ever made you upset." louis responds and i look down at my legs dangling off the edge of the roof. "yea, but last time i tried to break up with him he went crazy on me."

"do it with grayson with you."

"why?"

"you know if tayler even tried to get close to you grayson would kick his ass."

"i just don't want anyone to get hurt, mentally or physically."

"lani, sometimes you have to our yourself and your happiness, your mental health first."

"but what if" i start to say before getting cut off, "no what ifs, do it tomorrow at school with grayson because he can't go crazy there."

***

"gray, i'm so nervous" i say pacing up and down the hallway. "have you texted him?" he asks leaning his head against a locker. "yea, but it's lunch he is probably busy with his other friends so he might not even come." i say before noticing the tall figure coming from the cafeteria. i run over to grayson "gray! he is here! i don't even know what to say!" i yelp hiding behind him. "well i'm just gonna stand here, you have to tell him yourself." he says before pushing me to walk towards him. "hi baby" he says smiling and wrapping his arms around me, normally i would fake a smile at this point but i can't even muster up the courage to do that. "um, tayler?"

"yea?"

"i have something to say."

"go on."

"i think we need to break up." i say instantly backing away from him. i look back at grayson to let him know i told him, "fuck! i do everything for you! what else do you want from me?" he says slamming his fist against the locker door. "it's not you, you were great but," i lie before trailing off. "but what?" he says taking a few steps closer to me. "i'm just not happy, now i'm gonna go. goodbye tayler." i say walking off before he has a chance to say anything else. i burst into tears, "no, no kalani why are you crying? this is good you broke up with him." he said as we walk into a empty classroom. "i'm a mess gray, this means now i have to face my fears and talk to ashton and i don't even know what i'll say." i say crying into his arms. "why don't you give it a shot now." he says turning me around. i stare wide eyed up at ashton it doesn't take me long to notice the bruise on his jaw. i walk up to him and trace my fingers around the mark sending shocks through my body, "what happened?" i whisper. "nothing i'm fine." he responds taking a step back. "i'm sorry for completely shutting you out the past two months, tayler didn't want me to talk to you after what happened. i really regret it i'm so sorry." i say as tears glisten in his eyes. "okay it's fine, but we aren't friends and we won't ever be friends or anything more." he says blinking. i try to swallow the knot in my throat, "oh" my voice cracks. i can't make out anymore before he walks out of the room. i sit down in the spot where i'm standing on the floor for a while before grayson sits by me. "kalani i am so sorry. i guess i was wrong, nobody at this school deserves you. you are the best person i know, your so kind, caring, funny, and a entire meal." he says making me laugh at the end. i stare at the place where he was last standing, i felt like i could hear his presence in the room.