r.e.m. | ashton irwin | ongoing

six

it was halloween and ethan was throwing a big party. i wasn't exactly excited about going, even though i loved halloween. this year just felt so off, either stress from school or just like all my friends. especially ashton. we got in a fight because he was basically all up on some other girl at school. and i had to watch. i knew we werent exactly together but like, we were talking. i just dont know if i can even see myself dating him anymore if thats how hes gonna act.

i check the time realizing it was already 7, i quickly change into the green plaid skirt, and black long sleeve i had planned. i put on extra eyeliner and some fake blood around my face and neck. i was basically just going as a bloody school girl, but really half assed. i put on some shoes, brush through my hair a bit and grab my skateboard. "bye mom! im going to graysons!" i yell running down the stairs. "bye kalani" was all i got in response

i skated down the street, their house was at the opposite end of street so it wasnt too far away. i stop as i reach his driveway and pick up my board, some people were already here but i didnt recognize any cars. i walk in and see ashon right away. i quickly walk to the kitchen pretending that i didnt see him. i didnt have time to deal with dumb boys right now. "hey grayson" i say smiling as he set out energy drinks and alcohol. "hi pretty" he responds. i pull out my phone to text louis

kal: you're coming tonight right?

louis: yeah w/ harry ;)

kal: ur gross

"can you get some cups from the garage?" grayson asks. i nod my head walking over there. i look around their messy garage. i hear the door open and close again, assuming its grayson "where are they again?" i call. "huh?" i hear ashton say. great. "i dont have time ash" i say flatly. "what are you talking about?" he asks looking genuinely confused. "god you're so dumb" i roll my eyes. "i dont know what you're talking about lani" he responds. "literally you were making out with some girl pretty intensely in the hallways today. i say looking up at him. "oh" he says. i turn back around to look for the cups again. youre way too pretty to be sad over ugly boys i remind myself. i had somewhat confidence, but mainly i knew my worth and knew when i get would treat me like shit. "okay we arent even dating so why does it matter?" he asks. "okay yeah but we're talking." i say annoyed. "i know but, still" he says. "ashton, i have absolutely zero time for this. you're not even apologizing so you're waisting my time even more" i spat. finally the red solo cups. i grab them turning around. "kalani, im sorry. it was a dick move. at the time i was like its fine we werent dating so it didnt matter if i kissed some random girl who means nothing to me in the hallway. yeah shes pretty but absolutely nothing compared to you." he says. i heard the genuine in his voice. "i just dont get how if she means nothing to you, why you did it?" i ask looking down. "because i was bored and careless. opposite of when im with you." he says grabbing my chin making me look at him. i wrap my hands around his neck. "its okay ash, but do this shit again-" i say before he interrupts, "i know, i know" he smiles. i hated being interrupted, especially by a guy. but i just ignored it.

i walked back out into the kitchen with the cups, ashton following short behind me grayson shot me a confused look, "we're okay now" i mouth to him. i set the cups on the island in the kitchen. i pour myself a mixture of something and fill it up pretty high with some redbull. i hated the taste of alcohol it was disgusting. i watch ashton do the same but with no redbull at all. we were pretty different now that i thought about it. whatever, i just tried to ignore my anxieties about "us" or whatever we were. "im really tired" i say looking at ashton. i could tell he was already tired of being here. "i know" he says grabbing my wrist pulling me outside where nobody was. "lets just leave, we can go somewhere else" he says smiling. that's honestly what i needed. i smiled "okay but id feel bad just leaving." i say looking down. "lets talk with everyone for a little and then sneak out" he says. "okay" i nod my head.