Kisses

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<<How did I go from getting kissed every day to only being kissed by the reaches of the sun in the early mornings as it rises to let everyone know that it's time to wake up and start a new day, not knowing that I haven't slept a wink in the past 48 hours. Watching the sunrise as it washes over everything and fills the dark with light, but its warm kiss doesn't seem to reach me in my darkest moments anymore. The kisses I once received as a child are nothing but a faint memory to me now, but every day as the sun rises I wish more and more that they would come back to me for just a day. Instead of the warm kisses from the sun, I get the kisses from the darkness of the pitch-black sky that I stare into during the late night to avoid the endless nightmares that wash over me as try to sleep, but those kisses are cold and only ever bring more darkness with them. I get gentle kisses upon my temples from the voices that tell me I don't matter and that I will always be alone but in the end, they are always there when I need someone most, these kisses make me feel like I'm suffocating. They come out of nowhere frightening me to no end, the gentle kiss from the rough scarred lips against my temples that tell me everything is gonna be okay, yet they put me down every chance they get. They tell me the next kiss to my temple should be my last, that I don't deserve kisses not even ones from them and every day I sit and wonder what happened to the kisses from the sun. Why did the sun decide that I was no longer worthy of its warm kisses, the kisses that filled in all the dark, that took away my pain even if it was just for a day, just for a moment? I wonder why the sun's kiss never reaches me anymore but reaches past me to lay a gentle kiss upon someone nearby like I'm invisible. Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months and I'm still stuck here wondering, why the sun won't kiss me anymore>>


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