𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐄, 𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐄 / 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐊 𝐘𝐎𝐔

ᴄᴀᴛᴏʀᴄᴇ

As Monday dawns and Eddie forces himself out of bed, all he can think about is seeing Richie.

He can't believe himself, and how stupid he is- where did the sudden rush of bravery come from last night? As he scrubs himself down under the hot spray of the shower, he can't quite figure out what the hell he was thinking, being so bold and nearly kissing Richie- on the mouth. It's crazy, and foolish, and even though he really hates his mom for interrupting, he's a little relieved as well, because he's not sure he can handle the rejection if Richie had pushed him away.

As he pulls on his shoes and slips on the wristband Richie gave him, eyeing the beads that spell out Eds, he keeps glancing out the window, and a part of him worries that Richie isn't going to show up this morning. He's not even sure why he's scared of the possibility- it's not like Richie has ever abandoned him before. Of all the things they've been through, all the stupid things they've said to each other, all the little fights, and the bigger ones, too- nothing has ever torn them apart.

Richie shows up a little earlier than usual, and Eddie has to rush through his breakfast, shoving the remainder of a slice of toast in his mouth as he grabs his backpack and hurries out the front door. He's not sure what to expect when he gets in the car, but for everything to be normal- as though the whole weekend was just any other time hanging out- is definitely not it. Richie starts joking around right away, bringing up some new episode of a show he watches, driving toward the school much faster than he usually does, and the day goes on as usual.

There's a fresh layer of tension between them, which is all Eddie can say is different, and he feels it settle around them as the day goes on. When Richie comes up behind him between second and third period and squeezes his shoulders, rubbing some of the tension out of his muscles, Eddie has to steady himself so he doesn't lean back into him. At lunch time Richie sits beside him, and he swoops in and kisses Eddie's hair when Eddie gives him some cookies he packed extra for his lunch, and when their eyes meet, they linger, and Eddie wishes he could ask Richie why the hell he isn't making some kind of move. After the blatantly obvious attempt at a kiss Eddie pulled, Richie should know that this thing between them runs deeper, and that Eddie is more than willing to take the leap into being more than friends.

"What's going on?" Bev asks him when the bell rings to end the lunch hour, catching him before he can head off to class.

"Nothing," he replies, maybe too quickly, because she raises an eyebrow up at him, a silent inquiry. "Well... nothing besides the usual, I guess."

"I've been worried about you," she confides, hooking her arm around his elbow. "Last week, I know you were pretty irritated with us, and that's okay. I get it. But, you know, after this weekend, I thought that things would be different."

Eddie already knows what she means, but he asks her anyway. "Different how?"

Bev looks at him and smiles sadly, her clear, blue eyes standing out under the overcast sky. "You and Richie. I thought, you know, that you guys would get yourselves figured out and you'd both be happier."

Yeah, so did he. "It's not- there's nothing wrong, you know, with us. Things are fine." He glances away, letting his eyes drop to the ground. "The same."

"The same?"

"Yeah."

She wants to know more, and well, Eddie's a weak thing, so he starts to tell her everything, right there in the hall outside of the cafeteria, where anyone can hear him. But Bev is smart- much smarter than him- and she drags him out toward the empty field, out to the bleachers at the far end of the fence, where no one will see them. When they sit down Eddie keeps spilling everything that happened over the weekend, even the parts he's embarrassed to talk about, because they feel so personal, and he's ashamed to admit it when he tells her that he was so damn nervous each time Richie got so close to him, so nervous he's not sure if he could have really went through with anything. He tells her that he was hoping Richie would understand now, that he could just wait until Richie was ready to make a move, but he's not sure what the hold up is, and that maybe, after everything, Richie is just being Richie- a flirt, an idiot, joking around when he doesn't realize that Eddie is completely serious.