𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐄, 𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐄 / 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐊 𝐘𝐎𝐔

ᴠᴇɪɴᴛɪᴄɪɴᴄᴏ

Eddie floats through the next couple days. He feels light, happy, and it's such a change from how heavy he felt before, that he's not even sure how to enjoy it.

Richie's in a bad mood throughout the school day on Friday, and it helps keep Eddie distracted from the stares he receives, the whispers he catches in each of his classes, and the dirty looks Josh Dickwad shoots him from across the hall each time they cross each other's path. He doesn't let it upset him, just focuses on Richie, listens as he complains about a headache, and some body aches, and by the time they get home he's forgotten about all the idiots and school, and he gets caught up taking care of his boyfriend, who comes down with a full-blown cold.

Eddie does his best to help, bringing Richie's fever down in the night with aspirin, retrieving soup, and tea, tissues, and he resigns himself to the fact that he's going to end up with a cold, too. He doesn't care all that much, not when he gets to lie down with Richie in bed for the evening, even though Richie is being a huge baby. He whines, grumbles, begs Eddie to snuggle up with him, pleads for anything but water and tea- but Eddie doesn't mind, because Richie loves him, and Richie keeps saying it no matter how shitty he's feeling. Each time those three words leave his lips Eddie's insides turn to mush, and he kisses Richie tenderly, staring into his glazed eyes, mesmerized.

On Saturday evening, Eddie is forced to close at the library. Mrs. Starrett has left for Manhattan again, where she's needed to take care of her grand kids while her daughter recovers from a bad bout of pneumonia. He takes Richie's car again, weary, but he doesn't let his mind worry over the possibility of Sam being there again. Even if he does decide to show up, it's not like Eddie is going to stand there and take it, not with how elated he is, how much hope he feels thrumming through him- no, nothing can bring him down right now.

The shift drags by, and he's distracted the entire time. He's wearing the wristband Richie gave him in Kettle Cove, and he keeps glancing down at it, his insides warming each time he traces his finger over the beads, outlining Eds with his fingernail. Part of him idly wonders if Richie is okay, which he knows he is, because a cold is a cold, and it's not a huge deal. The other part of him is stuck on the other night, when he was such an idiot and couldn't bring himself to tell Richie how he really feels.

It's almost nine, and the last person trudges out of the doors, and he remains at the front desk, sorting through returned books and stacking his cart to shelve them tomorrow. He makes a few mistakes, caught up in his thoughts, wondering why the hell he can't just come out and say those three, stupid words to Richie without getting choked up. It's a big deal, but it's also not a big deal at all, because of course they love each other. They've been through so damn much. They've supported each other through everything. Why is it so hard to say it?

Because you're broken, says a voice in the back of his mind, as he heads over to the front doors and locks them. It sounds like his mother, and he ignores it, shoves it away. No, he isn't going to listen to that bullshit. He can do this. He can tell Richie that he loves him. He can even do it tonight. Yes- tonight. Richie might be passed out when he gets home, but he'll wake up eventually, and Eddie will be waiting. And he'll say it. He'll say it.

I love you, Richie.

He smiles as he goes through the last of the books quickly, eager, now, to get home. He moves on to do a quick check of the common areas, moving up and down the rows between the shelves, glancing around to make sure there aren't any piles of books sitting in the aisles, or anything else that can cause anyone to fall, or complain. He hasn't closed in a while, and he's so damn distracted by his thoughts that he keeps forgetting to do simple things. He gets the desks cleared off, double checks that there's no important paperwork left out, and he's about ready to go when he catches sight of a box full of worn out books that needs to go down to the basement.