Stutter~ Ryden (Finished)

10.

*please listen to the song. I think it fits pretty well and at the end it's really impulsive*

I sat on the edge of Ryans bed fumbling with the hem of my shirt. After church we went to his house and talked a bit. I saw a guitar standing in his room. His mum told me that he plays the guitar.

"Do you know Richard?", Ryan asked, breaking the silence.

I just furrowed my eyebrows not knowing who he meant.

"The guy, that kissed my mother's cheek. My stepfather, I thought you knew him because you acted so weird beside him."

I mouthed an 'oh'. I didn't know if I could trust Ryan. Should I tell him what happened? Maybe he will laugh at me and doesn't want to do something with me again. Maybe I'm the weirdo for him then. Ok, I'm already the weirdo for everyone, but Ryan was the last person I wanted to think of me like this.

"Brendon, you ok?", he asked. I didn't realise I was staring at him, lost in my thoughts.

I nod. I think I shouldn't tell him.

"H-he l-looked familiar", I lied.

"I don't like him. And then the thing with this poor kid. I have the feeling he isn't that innocent as he acts in front of my mum. But I don't have any proof, you know?"

"P-poor k-kid?", I asked. I think I knew what or better who he meant, but I wasn't sure.

"Haven't you heard of the boy who was found dead in the Forrest. He probably tripped over something and died, but nobody knows what happened exactly. They found a rope next to the sea and a t-shirt, but the boy had still his clothes on. Maybe it was suicide? This was like I don't know, four, three years ago? He was thirteen then. It's like a book written by Agatha Crist- Brendon why are you crying?"

I didn't even feel the tears escaping my eyes. It isn't something special anymore to be honest, I always cry myself to sleep. How weak of me, right?

I felt something warm against me so I looked up seeing Ryan who hugged me. I didn't need this sympathy of someone. I don't need pity. I just wanna be home and listen to music. Escape in my own world, and just forget this place.

I pulled away and stood up leaving Ryan with a confused look on his face on the bed sitting.

"I-I have t-to g-go", I sobbed. I knew it was a bad idea agreeing with him to hang out. Now he sees me. The broken Brendon. Maybe he just needed someone to make himself feel better.

"Did I do something wrong? Please stay!", He said worried. Doesn't he dare to act like he cares. No one does.

I went out of the room without looking back. Maybe he was sorry, but this was too much.

I just wanted to go away. Away from this shitty world. It started to rain pretty heavy but I didn't want to take the bus. Too many people. Too much attention.

My clothes were already soaked in water. I cried the whole way back home, after a time I couldn't even cry anymore. My sadness turned into anger, so I screamed. I thought middle of the street. No one was here, but u didn't care. I am already the weird kid.

"W-Why d-did you leave? W-WHY?! ", I yelled at the sky. I kicked some stones away and buried my face in my hands. I fell on my knees and sat there. This was unfair. All of this, "THIS W-WOULDNT H-HAPPEN, I-IF YOU D-DIDNT L-LEAVE!"

Something wrapped around me and pulled me closer.

"Shhhhh, Brendon, it's ok", my mother said.

"B-but I-I m-miss him s-so much", I sobbed in her shoulder.

"I know, I know", she whispered.

We stood there for a long time and I just sobbed. There weren't any tears left to cry. I was angry and sad at the same time. Why does god do this to me? He took me the person I called my best friend since kindergarten.

Why did you leave?

******

Sorry if there's a bit too much drama, but I felt like writing it

And I wanted to say thank you! I uploaded this story not long ago and for this time I have many reads. Thank you so much!<3

please comment!

And the song above is called goner by twenty one pilots