Watford Tales

The Messenger

Baz

By the time I'm done hunting and make my way up to the nursery the others have gathered. And honestly, I feel so heartbroken I can't really focus on what is going on, even though this is important. Everything turns on tonight. If we handle it right, we'll find out where they're hiding, we can go get Mordelia back. If we fuck it up, who knows when we'll get another chance.

Simon's hunkered down on one of the futons in a proper glower. You can practically see the cloud of smoke around his head, and the whole room stinks. It's got to be obvious to everyone that we're on the outs, but that really is the last thing I have energy to worry about.

When it comes time to decide who's going with Simon to meet the messenger, whoever that might be, he chooses Penny and Niall. Well I guess that makes sense, given the state of things between us, but I don't like it. I want to be there, helping decipher whatever clues there are. And if the situation deteriorates, it's better if we can work together. Which he knows perfectly well. He's being a baby about it all. Just because I broke it off with him, doesn't mean we don't still need to work together.

The three of them go back to our room as the most likely place to wait for the messenger, leaving Dev, Agatha and me in the nursery. I fling myself down on the futon where Simon was sitting and breath in the smoky scent of him like some kind of consolation prize.

Dev and Agatha are sitting across from me, holding hands, staring at me like I'm some pathetic creature that just got dragged in off the street.

"Baz," says Dev at last.

"What the fuck?" says Agatha.

"We broke up," I say.

"Duh," says Agatha.

"Why?" says Dev.

"You were so happy," says Agatha.

"Yeah," says Dev. "At the Winter Ball he was grinning from ear to ear about you."

"I don't want to talk about it," I say.

The silence hangs in the room. I lay there and breath in Simon. Maybe if I just close my eyes they'll leave me alone.

"Baz," says Agatha.

Nope.

"What?" I say with as much hostility as I can muster.

"We said we'd be friends, remember?"

"I remember."

"Well, Baz, the way it works is, friends usually tell each other if something makes them sad or unhappy."

And then, stupidly, before I even realize it's happening, I'm crying. And it's not just a few tears, oh no, it's big juvenile sobs that shake my shoulders and leave me gasping for air. A big gob of snot comes running out of my nose. It's completely embarrassing. Thank Merlin they don't try to touch me, or comfort me, they just stand by respectfully while my tears run their course. While the howling empty chasm that is the loss of Simon reverberates through my soul.

At last Dev hands me a handkerchief and I blow my nose. "Sorry," I say, feeling ridiculously, stupidly, human.

"What happened?" asks Agatha.

So I tell them. I don't know why. Sharing my feelings is not something that I do, normally, but I do it anyway. I'm beyond caring what anybody thinks.

"It was a dream," I say. "I was dreaming about the Mage. I......I....was fighting him and I woke up, and.....and my fangs were popped, and......I had Simon......."

"Did you bite him?" asks Agatha, looking at me with a steady gaze. Not horrified or repulsed, as I would have expected. More like, whatever it is, we'll deal with it.