Watford Tales

Goats in the Haymow

Simon

The next afternoon Agatha is alone when I get to tea. She's sitting far from our usual table, hunched over a Biology book (Agatha wants to be a vet and takes a lot of science). I'm really sick of this bullshit of us not talking to each other. It's rubbish. I grab my usual sour cherry scone and a cup of tea and sit down across from her.

"Agatha," I say. I'm improvising. I really have no idea where this is going to go.

She's too polite not to look up, though I can tell she doesn't want to. "Hello Simon," she says. Her face has this closed look that I've never seen there, not ever. I am beginning to regret starting this.

"You weren't at our meeting last night."

"No."

"We missed you."

"Not interested, Simon. Sorry." And she turns back to her book.

"We need you," I try.

She looks up again, and this time, the closed look is gone and her beautiful blue eyes are hard and angry.

"That's crap, Simon," she says. "What do you need from me? You have Penny. You have Baz. They're the brilliant ones. And you've got...... well, your power. I honestly don't see how I have one thing to add."

I'm floored. "Agatha..... I....."

"Maybe you need me as bait!" Agatha says, furiously closing her book and stuffing it in her bag. She rises and I never think of Agatha as fierce but she looks fierce now. Terrifying really. Her eyes are blazing and her hair is puffed around her in a golden halo, as if it's electrified.

"It's been years, Simon," she spits. "Years of one close call after another. Years of you and Penny taking stupid chances, years of drama on top of drama."

"It's not just some stupid drama," I say. I'm getting angry now, too.

"When I broke up with you I thought I'd gotten away from it. I'm trying to get away from it. And instead I wind up in the tower with that fucking maniac, this close to being killed. Well I'm done, Simon. I'm done. Good luck fighting the Mage. I hope you win. I don't see that I have any way to help you." She's out of her chair and walking away, her hair a golden cloud around her.

"I didn't choose this!" I shout after her. "This is something I have to do!"

She turns around and looks at me, and the closed look is back. "I know, Simon," she says. "It chose you. You're the Chosen One. I'm sorry about that. I really am. But I do have a choice. And I'm going to take it." She turns again, and she's gone.

Great. Just..... Fucking.....Great. I'm standing there in the dining hall with my hands balled into fists, and the smell of sulfur all around me. I want to kick something. Instead I just sit down.

I don't even feel like fucking eating. I just pick at my scone. Even though I think I'm getting over Agatha, especially in light of recent events, I still care about her. We've been friends almost as long as Penny and I have been. We've spent every Christmas together since we were 11. This is absolute rubbish. I'm not......I know I was a bad boyfriend to her. And I have to admit that we probably weren't right for each other, as much as I wanted us to be. But I never expected her to just......not care.

I'm sitting there feeling absolutely shitty and then Penny is there. She drinks my tea and eats my scone. Seeing her eating makes me realize I actually am kind of hungry and I go get another scone from the table. I split it and stab the knife into the butter, and smash the butter into the scone. Penny just looks at me and has the sense not to say anything.

"I talked to Agatha," I say at last.

Penny looks at me sympathetically. "Sorry."

"Why is she like that?"

"She's..... I don't know Simon. She's scared."

"Of me."

"Of everything." We sit there for a while and I finish my scone. "They're expecting me home for supper," Penny says at last. "Walk me to the train?" And so I do. It's a short walk into the village, where the train goes to London every two hours. Today the ground is frozen hard and the sky is grey like iron. There's big frozen puddles with that kind of thin white ice that looks like frozen milk and shatters when you step on it, and I step on every puddle the whole way into the village, to hear that satisfying crackle. I know I'm acting like a kid, but doing something simple and childish feels really good right now. Penny just watches me indulgently.

She kisses my cheek as the train pulls in. "Be safe," she whispers. "I'll be back tomorrow."

"Good luck," I say to her back as she boards the train. "Be safe yourself." I watch the train until it rounds a corner and is gone.

Baz has football practice again, so I figure I might as well do what he suggested and do a bit of sniffing around. I start in the library, which has a million odd corners and cubbyholes and seems like a place the mage would hide something he wanted to. If he wanted to. Hide something. Whatever that might be.

It's all pretty vague.

I don't get very far.

I just spend about an hour stumping around the library, looking into corners. Feeling for hidden panels, pressing against the walls when no one's looking. Staring at the statues tucked into nooks, seeing if I can catch a glimmer or a whiff of magic. I'm sensitive that way. So much of the time, with magic, I'm just a bull in a china shop. All power, no control. It's nice that I have a little sensitivity, a little instinct. At least that's something.

But this afternoon, I get nothing.

After I get sick of getting nowhere in the library I wander outside. It's too early for dinner and it's freezing cold. I make my way down to the barn, thinking of Ebb. I wonder if anyone's looked in on the goats.

No one has.

They've broken into the hay mow and there's water down by the creek so they're all right. And Ebb dried them off in November so no one's got mastitis or anything. They're lonely though. They're so glad to see me they practically knock me down, mobbing around me and bleating and trying to nibble on my coat. I spend about an hour down there petting them and brushing them and mucking out the barn. Maybe if the Humdrum destroys my power I can move back here and work as Ebb's assistant. There'd be worse things, I think, as I make my way back to school in the dusky late afternoon light.

In the end, I just go to dinner early and then go back to our room. It's starting to snow. I wish Baz were here, but I guess he's off with Dev and Niall again. I try looking at my chemistry but instead I start thinking about what we were up to last night. I'm getting goosebumps and this weird wriggle in my stomach and of course, I've got a huge hard on. I almost think I might as well wank. I often do, anyway, at this time of night, when Baz is at the library with Dev and Niall. It's one of the only times I get the room to myself. But it seems pretty stupid when I know he'll be here before too long. And I'm just thinking that maybe I should head over to the library to hurry him along, when I hear a persistent tapping at the window. I go to open it and a crow blows in with a puff of snowflakes and a note tied to it's leg.