No One Does It Better - Sequel to Blue Eyes Don't Lie

Chapter 4 - Dan's POV

We’re now back home in a very cloudy and cold Surrey, cutting our honeymoon short. We haven’t let anyone know that we’re home because we just want time to ourselves before letting everyone know the bad news. I just can’t get my head around it, I’m not going to be a dad. I’m not going to be called ‘dad’ or ‘daddy’. I’m not going to have a daddy’s little girl or a punk rock son. I’m not going to be able to introduce them to the wonderful fanbase. I’m not going to be able to teach Noah how to play drums or cuddle up with Lily and watch Gossip Girl… Shit.

The dreams I had back in NYC keep occurring, every single fucking night. I can’t seem to shake them. It hurts me so much knowing that its not going to come true. I’m not going to tell Molly about them. She’s been really quiet and distant since being released from the hospital a few days ago. Coming out of the hospital, she wouldn’t hug me properly; she didn’t even wrap her arms around me. On the plane journey she wouldn’t let me hold her hand as I would do when we take off. She just looked out of the window for the whole journey not saying or doing anything. She’s worrying me so much. I don’t want to lose her like she lost her mum. She’s my everything and seeing her like this kills me even more. Even the taxi ride home was quiet. I tried to get her laughing by talking about the time I found Max on the toilet… She didn’t even smile like she normally does, she didn’t even look at me. She hasn't even looked at me.

When we got home, Molly dropped her bag and went upstairs without saying a word. I followed her upstairs but she locked herself in the bedroom.

I knocked on the door, “Molly, baby come on. Please say something to me.”

I didn’t get a reply. I just heard a faint sob come from her.

“Molly,” I said, my voice started to become uneven. “Molly, I’m hurting too. Please let me in.” but she didn’t. I sat outside the door hearing her sob to herself for a while, I should be in there comforting her but she won’t let me. I pulled up my legs to my chest, resting my head on my knees and cried myself.

After a while, I couldn’t take it. I needed to clear my head. I needed to go for a walk but I can’t do that. What if one or all of the guys are out and I bump into them and I have to explain everything? I couldn’t do that. Fuck it, I need to clear my head. I picked up the house keys and my car keys and drove to a park.

It was the one my dad always took me to as a kid, mostly when I was a teenager and I’d understand what he spoke about. Whenever he felt like he needed to get out the house, he’d take me with him and we’d sit on this bench that lies on top of a hill, overlooking a beautiful stream. He would talk to me about mum and Sarah, about work, about his dad, my grandad, who died of cancer and he spoke to me about his cancer… He also would look into the sky and ask for answers from his dad or just ask for a little guidance. It was always a place I could talk to him in private too. I told him how scared I was about growing up, about not being good enough for the band, about falling in love and of course, losing him. I can still vividly remember the last conversation I had with him here before he died.

*
“I’m scared of losing you dad,” I tried so hard not to choke up but I did. “I don’t want to lose you, you don’t deserve any of this shit. You’re young, you shouldn’t be going through this. I shouldn’t be losing you at 20 years old.” He pulled me in close and held me. “Danny, sh.” He patted my back. “Some things in life happen. Some are unfortunate like mine is but that’s what happens. You’ve seen me fight it and I still am, right until the day it takes me. Some people win the battle and some lose, in this case I am but never forget that I’m fighting it until the very end, okay?” I nodded my head into his chest, trying my best not to cry. “I just don’t want to lose you dad, you’ve shown me so much in life. You’ve shown me you can still be strong when life gets you down, you’ve given me confidence in myself, you’ve supported me since day one with the band… I just wish I could repay you for everything.” He moved me back and placed his hands on my shoulders. “Danny, you make me incredibly proud. Just seeing you out there, playing to the best of your ability. Seeing all your fans come up to me saying how much they love you, it brings a tear to my eye. You do make me proud, always remember that. You've made me proud since the day you were born. ”
*

I sat there, on that same bench as I did with my dad. I didn’t realise I was crying my eyes out just thinking about him, how I made him proud. Life can really be fucked up when it wants to be.

“Dad? What do I do dad? I really need your help…” I looked up at the cloudy, grey sky with tears pouring out of my eyes. The clouds broke apart and some sunlight shone through. I guess it was my dad sending me some sort of a sign. Funnily enough, the sunlight was shining over the stream. I got up off the bench and carefully made my way down the hill towards the stream.

When I looked into the stream, I saw my reflection but I noticed something else. I’m sure my mind was playing tricks on me as I saw my dad in the stream reflection, holding two small people, babies as a matter of fact. They looked exactly as I envisioned them to be in my dream. A baby looking the spitting image of Molly and the other of myself. I rubbed my eyes and looked back into the water, seeing dad holding them with a smile on his face. He looked happy, he looked like he was taking care of them. It comforted me knowing he’s looking after them. Dad knows he would’ve been a grandad…

After about half an hour of walking around in circles and sitting on the bench, I decided to go home. Seeing that vision of dad with the babies had given me confidence in Molly and myself, knowing someone is helping the babies which will help us. It makes sense in my head, believe me. I got in the car and turned the key. I drove slow, trying to think things over like what I would say to Molly, how to comfort her, how to tell her everything will be fine when in some ways she’s already been through this with her brother, just not herself physically.

When I got home not long after, I walked straight into the living room seeing Molly curled up on the sofa holding the locket I got her. She changed the photo that was me and her to the babies scan. She lifted her head up, seeing me standing in the door way.

“Where have you been?” She asked weakly. I looked at her eyes, red and puffy from crying so much. Her voice was almost gone. I was surprised she could speak them 4 words.

“I went out to clear my head.” I stated, truthfully.

She didn’t reply, she just laid back down on the sofa and tried her best not to cry again. She couldn't help it, the tears just flowed freely. I walked over to her, lifted her head gently so she rested across my lap. I've never felt her clutch onto me as much as she did then.

"Molly, it's going to get better. I know it will because I saw it. When I went to clear my head, I saw dad. He was holding Noah and Lily with a massive smile on his face. He's keeping them safe." 

Molly looked up at me, confusion clearnly displayed on her face. "Dan, what are you talking about?"

"Molly, listen to me. I saw our babies, they are fine and safe. Believe me."

"Dan, you're speaking loads of crap. You don't know that at all! You don't know that they are safe with your dad, we don't know anything like that!" her voice started to raise, she began to shout at me.

"Why can't you believe me Molly?! I'm telling you I saw them, I saw dad holding them with the biggest smile ever on his face! I spoke to him Molly, he spoke back to me. What don't you understand?!"

"You're losing it Dan, you're going crazy. Of course he didn't speak to you, you didn't see the twins either. You're just hallucinating Dan, that's all you're doing."

"I'm hallucinating fuck all Molly, I'm trying to tell you our kids are safe and that I saw them. You're supposed to be happy. Why aren't you happy?!"

Molly stood up from sitting on the sofa. "You need to speak to someone, Dan. You really do. It''s not normal to see things." With that, Molly stormed out the room, slamming the door. 

"Fuck!" I screamed, why can't she believe me?! She's my wife, my everything and she can't believe me over something that's so close and personal to us? What else can't she believe? This is really making me think.