Carnality (Roman Godfrey/Bill Skarsgard)

3

10 Days.

It had been 10 days since my last encounter with Roman, and time couldn't be any slower.

Maybe it was the long days, the lack of interaction, or just my jaded mood that made the days feel like forever; but one thing was for sure; I was resentful.

Roman disappeared a lot; leaving me with nothing to do. However, I wasn't upset about the fact that I was alone; I was upset because I felt used.

It sounds silly, really. Roman didn't want me, he didn't even ask for me; I was forced into his life, so I couldn't blame him, but our last encounter had me feeling confused beyond words.

When we were done with our... activities, Roman held me so lovingly until I fell asleep in his arms. He seemed so caring and gentle, and now he's gone; disappeared, and it frustrates me how hurt I am by it.

I couldn't fight the battle in my head. One part of me wanted to see Roman again, to explore with him, to have some attention; but the other half wanted to ignore him, the way that he ignored me.

I turned and looked outside. I was currently in my bed, sleepless again due to my overactive mind. Gripping the blanket with nimble fingers, I sighed deeply as I glanced at the moon; I wish it was morning, just so I could walk around or do something; but instead, I'm stuck in bed with a battlefield in my mind.

Time slowly passed but my frustration did not; exasperated, I kicked the blankets off me and got up from the bed, stalking to the door. I cursed myself internally for wearing a silver night dress, knowing that the cold air was bound to hit me, but I couldn't do anything about it now. Adrenaline was coursing through my veins when I came to the decision... I was going to find Roman.

I had mapped out the house quite well during my time here, so I knew that Roman's room was in the West Wing. I hurriedly walked through the maze of halls, rubbing my hands up and down my bare arms. The tiles were illuminated by the moonlight making the house so tranquil yet spooky at the same time; it was difficult to explain the juxtaposition; it was hauntingly beautiful... just like Roman.

Once I entered the West Wing, I tried my luck on a few doors, when I was left with empty spaces, I continued my task until I found Roman's room. I was too determined now to back down, and I'm sure in the morning I won't be as brave as I am in this moment. It's now or never I thought to myself.

Finally, I located a room at the end of the hall. It seemed quite obvious that this could be the one. My heart beat started to accelerate, making me hesitant to touch the door knob. My courage had seemed to vanish when I felt Roman's presence.

I snapped my eyes closed and gripped the door knob, slowly but surely I turned the cool metal in my hand. The sound of the door clicking made me shoot my eyes open, the door was ajar and there was no way I was turning back now. I slowly opened the door further and walked in.

The sight in front of me made my eyes widen drastically.

Roman was face down on a king-sized bed. His back muscles were visible but his lower half was covered by a deep velvet sheet. His hair was groomed and neatly trimmed at the back, showcasing his neck. The rise and fall of his body illustrated that he was in a deep sleep. My heart plummeted at the sight, he was so vulnerable.

I could feel heat rise to my cheeks, feeling guilty that I caught him in this position, but I couldn't move; he was a sight, that's for sure. Every inch of his skin, every body part, muscle, follicle of hair; everything about him was a masterpiece and it made me angrier that he was so beautiful, because his looks alone made me melt in his hands.