meet you there // l.h (on hold)

XII: not scared at all to get close to you

"Even every time that you got the flu
I'm not scared at all to get close to you
I don't run away when your face says, "Achoo"
But I run to get you a tissue."

Luke

Juliet packed me a bag for Juliet as one would pack a bag for a baby to someone who's sitting it. It had comfortable cloths, pajamas, and 'going-out' clothes. She slipped her walk-man into it and a couple of CDs, along with some strange candy I couldn't recognize or even figure out what it was because it was labeled in Spanish.

Before she left, she instructed me to let her rest as long as she needed, and maybe take her out at night to distract her mind from the events of the day. She also said to put her the music if things got agitated, and feed her the candy once in a while. And she would eat on her own, she wouldn't miss a chance.

She also gave me a small, yellow bottle of pills.

"Give her one after she has eaten, it will calm her down, but don't let her take more than that. She's going to seem a little bit turned off, so just hand her this," Juliet said handing me a separated green bag. "Arts supplies. Watercolors, pencils, pens. Two notebooks, one for drawing, one for painting. She doesn't like being watched when she's doing either of them, so give her some alone time."

I spoke then. "I have never seen someone react so badly. Are you sure she's fine?" It was worrisome, because I had never seen someone have a panic attack like that, and that could last that long.

"This has been the worst one, yes, but that's only because it has been the worst situation she's been through," she explained as she played with her hands. "It's hard, and it is tiring, Luke. Sometimes you just want to leave, to stop carrying a weight that is not your own. That will only make you a villain of her story. She works hard to fight it, but she can't always win, you know? I hope you understand what you are getting into."

I nodded. If I wanted Lexie I was getting the whole package, Juliet explained. The package included the sleepless nights where she just wanted to be held, holding her hair as she vomited, cleaning the tears, making her eat, controlling the medicine, reminding her to breathe, hiding or sugar coating the bad things. It was loving her whole, or not loving her at all.

In the past, the girls I had dated, had been troublesome, except for my high school girlfriend Aleisha. Actually my other two serious girlfriends had been Latinas, but troublesome; either the fame had gotten to their heads or the drugs had –that was Arzaylea.

Lexie wasn't trouble, just a lot of hard work, and I was ready for hard work.

When I got Lexie to our home in Santa Monica she literally headed to my room and curled into a ball on my bed, and she fell asleep. It was probably around noon, and she needed to have her pill. She I decided that was only a nap and I went ahead to figure out what I could feed her.

Ashton was in the kitchen scavenging throughout fridge.

"You don't have to come to the dinner party. You can stay home with Lex. In fact, I can cancel it and we can all stay."

I shook my head. "Nope," I said popping the 'p'. "Juliet said I need to take her out eventually. Maybe, it won't be to your dinner, but I have to take her somewhere." I was standing behind him also checking the fridge. We had eggs, milk and ham, so I guessed Lexie was having an omelet for lunch.

"I never guessed things were as bad as we saw them today," Ash said stepping aside from the fridge.

"I know. We are not Americans but it makes me want to do something. We live here," I exclaimed as I checked the expiration date of the carton of milk. "And even little kids go through that. It amazes me the inhumanity we have in this world."