So it seems that after a long weekend I see two of my favorite girls while on my lunch break . I love nevaeh spirit she reminds me what I would want in a daughter. What can I say about Jasmine she is smart, sexy, independent and well really she is the total package. So why didn't I say I love you when she said it to me. I feel something for her what it is I can not say. I also a cautious cause that is Heavens sister and they may be just alike although I know in my heart they aren't . At work today seems to be a slow day when I look up and in walks Heaven dress to dam sexy to be going anywhere in the middle of the day ! She smiles and walks to me like we are old friends, I say afternoon what can I get for you? Stop playing Chance you know I came to see you. I want to be friends again , I know that is hard for you but I know before everything that happened we was really close . Close I laugh â¦my phone rings its jasmine I hit ignore. Thee only close there was I say was u and my best friend fuckin behind my back. The sad part is I loved you I wanted to make you my wife but that wasn't good enough for you. So tell me how we use to be close? Boy stop playing you know I loved you I still do. I don't know why you even talk to my sister she aint go what I got and she can never please you like I use too ! For a moment I thought to my self she might be right how will I ever get over what we had. Look I got a job to do here so if your not going to buy anything then u needs to bounce . Don't do that don't be all serious and shut me out I hate that . I will go for now but I would love to see you again maybe tonight I can come over your place and see you ! Goodbye heaven I said with a stern voice as to make it know that she was leaving before she said anything else . The rest of the day would just go to hell as now I have these thoughts stuck in my head and now jasmine is calling me again I hit ignore.
Chance ain't answer the phone and I called him twice. I hope he is just busy I really need to hear his voice . I am so in love with him and I know because of how I feel that I let what my sister said get the best of me. I wish that I had met him first that he proposed to me that night we would be happy and a family. I know I am going to drive over there and give him a big kiss. I am outside and in total shock I see my sister ass hanging out her dress while she is bent over the counter talking to chance and he is ignoring my phone calls. Could she be right is there any possible way that he could still want her . . . . . ? Now that I think about it he has never gone after her or hit her like mike . My tears are flowing down my face and I cant even wipe them away fast enough I drive home not knowing what to think. I guess my sister will win again if he want that then he can have it I ain't going to let him break my heart.
. . . . ?
So many things happened that my head hurts. Jasmine said she loves me and I said nothing. Then to top it all off Heaven comes in trying to flirt and for a fleeting moment I considered her and that is just wrong. I have the scar both physical and mental to prove it. I am glad I am off today going to go for a long walk w and listen to my favorite group. There is just something about listening to Evanescence that just makes me feel more myself. As I walk in the park I see the kids playing on the playground and climbing trees and it makes me wish I had kids of my own to do this with. I make my second lap and out of nowhere I see nevaeh she walks right up to me and says I need a big hug! With those pretty eyes and her sweet heart I can do nothing but hug her tight. When I let got she smiles and asks where I been. I been working and walking a lot . How have you been? She says mommy and daddy got into a fight the other day and auntie J had to break it up. I am surprised to hear this although mike is a dick so I shouldn't be. Then she says mommy an auntie was arguing the kitchen and auntie said she loved you and mom got real mad. Do you love my aunt? Cause if you do then u can marry her and be my uncle ! That would be great then I could see you all the time and u and my aunt would both be happy.
Her questions catch me off guard. Rather then answer her i deflect it back to her. Is your aunt not happy now ? Did something happen that I don't know about? Her eyes seem to change, with a sullen look she says she has not been smiling or singing or anything just works and doesn't even bother to sing songs anymore. My heart sunk a little and I feel like shit for not talking to her when she called. Something must have been wrong.
Don't worry your pretty little head about it. I will call your aunt and invite her to dinner and talk to her. I will put a big smile on her face and if I cant then she can just beat me up ! Seeing her expression change lets me know she is happy now .With a smile on my face I wave by and continue my walk all the while thinking how am I going to get Jasmine to even talk to me. All I can do is call her and see what happens I pray she answer the phone. I have a habit of making women run leave me.
