Can't back down - a Ricky Wilson fan fiction

Chapter 4

As Ricky was sleeping after dinner, I found paper and a pen and started writing.

"Ricky.

I don't know where to begin. Thank you for everything you have ever done for me, I can't tell you how grateful I am.

I haven't got a way with words, as you probably figured out by now so I'm not going to try to dress this up too much. By the time you'll read this I'll be long gone. I wanted to write this because it'll be easier than saying it to your face.

I want you to be happy, I don't want you to worry about me, I don't deserve it. You would try to stop me from leaving, so leaving now without you knowing is easier.

Before I go, I want you to know that I like you, a lot. You probably don't care though. You make me happy and that's one of the reasons why I have to go. You have Lesley, you don't need me around.

You've stopped reading this but if, by any chance, you're still reading this I don't want you to come looking for me. I deserve what I'm going to do to myself and I don't want you witness it. Goodbye Ricky.

Jess

X"

I left the note on his bedside table. I looked back at a sleeping Ricky, my hands were shaking and my make up was a mess from crying. I didn't want to do this but I had to. I turned to the door, took a deep breath, picked up my bags and opened the door. I slipped out as quietly as I could without looking back.

Ricky's POV

I woke up to an unusually quiet hotel room. "Jess?" I called out, no answer. I panicked, where is she? I practically tore up the hotel room trying to find her. There wasn't any sign of her anywhere.

There was a letter on my bedside table. I opened it and read it. No, no she can't do this. I rushed to my car and I got in. I love her and now I know she loves me too.

There was no way o earth I wasn't going to find her, she needs me more than anything and I'm not going to let her down. I went to the park,it was the first place I could think of.

"Jess?!?" Still no reply. I pray to God I'm not too late. I rushed around everywhere trying to find her. Just as I was about to give up I noticed something at the corner of my eye, behind the bushes.

I was curious, I walked over. Jess. My heart sunk. Fuck. How could I let this happen to her? I called an ambulance, there lying beside her was an empty pill bottle and a razor blade.