Semester of the Dead MxM (Staten Krown)

15

Nixon

"You good, Nixon?"

I'm sitting in the dark in the empty dining room of the bunker. In front of me is soup in a can. I literally haven't even touch the stuff. I just look at it. I watch it go cold right in front of me and there's nothing that I can really do to it. I just look at the can of soup. I just watch how it looks. It makes me sick honestly looking at this stuff.

"Yeah I'm aight," I tell him.

"No you ain't. You heard. Your brother's alive."

I had heard. 20 minutes ago my boyfriend comes up to me. He tells me that my brother is alive and being held by Luna. The excitement in Sunday's eyes is something that he's never felt for me. He's happy. He's so fucking happy. I remember just looking at him with this blank expression not believing what I'm hearing. I remember Sunday not even spending a moment before he ran off to talk to his father and figure out how they were going to get Alaric back.

"I'm happy. Just...can't believe it."

Michael Power looks at me and squints, "Cut the shit. You aren't happy that motherfucker is alive."

"He's my brother."

Michael Power shrugs, "Look around us Nixon. What the fuck does that mean anymore?"

I look around us. We were underground. We were in a bunker because the dead was on top of us. We ate food out of a can because there were no farmers left to grow fresh food. The dead were killing off all the animals so we couldn't even hunt. We were vermin on the Earth and Michael Power had a point. The old way of thinking didn't matter anymore.

He was my brother but in this world that we lived in...who honestly gave a fuck anymore?

Maybe that's why I lean over to Michael Power and whisper, "I let him go, Power. I dropped him. I fucking dropped him."

Power slams his hand on the table, "I knew it! I fuckin' knew it. Ha! Man that's funny as hell, I called bullshit the moment you told your story. Wait...wait Nixon why the fuck are you crying? You crying, dog? Don't go soft on me now."

I let my head hit the table. All of this regret is coming up. I can't believe I let him go. I can't believe I fucking did that. The thoughts were one thing. I didn't want my brother to come back. I wanted him to go away permanently. But the fact that I acted on it. The fact that I let him go.

"He's going to hate me. He's going to tell Sunday. Sunday is never going to speak to me again. My fucking life is over..."

Power lifts up my head, "Your life was over the moment this world went to shit."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about reality. Tell me, why'd you drop him?"

I shrug, "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

"My whole life I've been the forgotten West brother. I was famous, but not as famous as Beric. I was handsome, but not as handsome as Alaric. I was this fucked up merge of two brothers who always got more attention. For once in my life I found happiness...here with you guys. In the last year I found a place just for me. I found someone who loved me and wasn't asking for tickets to Beric's next show or reminding me how Alaric was good with football or singing or arts or anything he fucking touched in his entire life. I had Sunday. For me. And I was happier than I'd ever been even before the world went to shit. And Alaric came back. And it's a constant reminder that no matter how I try to shake that old life it still exists. And Sunday's eyes drift to the better West brother like it always does. Whether it's Beric or Alaric. It doesn't matter. And I felt that life slipping away. And I had two options."