24 Hours.

5.7 - EVEN MORE TEARS

01:47 AM

Luke got to his mum's house at a little after one in the morning, and he still wanted to die.

It was late, and he didn't expect anyone to be awake and waiting for him when he got home, so he wasn't surprised when he opened the front door to find the house very dark and very quiet.

Luke was almost hyperventilating at this point, and he immediately went in the kitchen to get himself a glass of water and try to calm himself down. He felt a tightening in his chest, and his head was almost spinning, and he could hardly breathe.

He couldn't believe that he'd done something so awful to Skylar. He loved her so much, and he pushed her away like she meant nothing to him. He was just trying to protect her. Luke never wanted to hurt Skylar, or see her hurt because of something involving him, so he thought that it would be a smart idea to tell her to leave, and that he never cared in the first place.

Luke didn't know how Skylar felt about him, and he doubted that she loved him like he loved her, but he knew that she felt something for Luke and she was clearly upset about him wanting her to leave. He didn't think that it would matter to her if he just ditched her like that, he thought she'd be fine.

But she wasn't. Skylar wasn't fine and Luke definitely was not fine either. His heart literally ached for her and the only thing going through Luke's head at the moment was how badly he wished that he could just go back and change it. Everything, all of it. There were so many things that he wanted to change about the last 24 hours, he couldn't even keep count.

There was no way he could do that. Time machines didn't exist and Luke was just a big asshole who'd pushed away the one thing that he'd ever truly loved with all his heart. He'd lost Skylar forever and now all Luke wanted to do was curl up in a ball and just there until he died, until he was nothing. No one would miss him, anyway.

Luke paced back and forth in the kitchen, his hands shaking as he brought the glass of water to his lips. He felt sick, he couldn't even drink water without wanting to throw up. How could he be so stupid? How could he do something so mean and so horrible to someone that he was supposed to love?

Luke set the glass down on the countertop, his hands shaking as he continued to walk back and forth, silently screaming at himself for what an idiot he was. He didn't know that he even had it in him to be this stupid. That was the only word that Luke could really use to describe himself at the moment; stupid.

His eyes kept flicking over to the set of knives tucked away on the countertop, and Luke thought about how easy it would be for him to just end his life. He didn't even want to live anymore, not when he'd always have the memory of Skylar and what he'd done.

Luke had been having these thoughts for as long as he remembered, but they'd become a lot less frequent after he joined the band with his friends and became a lot less of, well, an asshole. Luke couldn't help himself now, because he had done something so awful to someone that he cared about so much and he couldn't help but think that killing himself was the only possible answer.

Luke decided to go talk to his mum instead.

He knew that it was late, and he might get yelled at for waking her up, but he figured that she'd understand once he told her than he was thinking about killing himself right in their kitchen. He silently walked down the hall and into his mum, Liz's, room, where she was fast asleep.

"Mum," Luke whispered quietly, shaking her shoulder just a little. She rolled over and slowly opened her eyes, looking up at Luke.

"Luke?" She asked, sitting up. "You're home! Are you alright?"

"Mum..." Luke bit down hard on his lip, taking in his mum's worried expression. Luke didn't understand, how could she be so worried about him? Luke was such an awful, horrible person to everyone, including his mum sometimes, and yet she was still worried about him.

"Mum," Luke said again, tears starting to fall from his eyes and onto his cheeks. "Mum, I want to kill myself and I don't know why I'm feeling this way and I don't know what to and I just want to die so badly and I need help I don't want to do anything bad and I really need help I just want to die."

Luke said all of it in a rush, and as he spoke Liz began to look even more worried. She grabbed Luke's hands and pulled him over to the side of her bed, making him sit down on the edge of it.

"Can you...explain?" She asked, clearly confused, as anyone would be when they're woken up by their son explain that he wants to kill himself.

"I met this girl, Mum," Luke cried, "And I did such a mean thing to her, and I feel so bad about it I'd just rather die than have to go on with my life knowing that I did it."

"Shh, Luke, honey, calm down." Liz whispered, rubbing Luke's back while he continued to cry into his hands. He was too ashamed to actually look his mum in the eyes, even though he hasn't even told her what he'd done yet. "What happened? Tell me about it."

"I fell in love with her, Mum, I fell in love with her and then I made her leave me." Luke said shakily, though he knew that Liz wasn't going to understand what he was talking about at all. He didn't need her to understand, though, he just needed her to listen.

"How?" Liz asked.

And then Luke told her everything, about his whole night, everything that he knew about the young girl he met on the plane with pretty hair and eyes and a cute nose that cried a little too much. Luke told his mum how it'd only taken him 24 hours to fall in love.

-

I actually feel bad for Luke unlike SOME people but yeah this story's almost over lol