When the Girls Stalk Boys

RETURN OF THE LUKE, HALF THE PENIS, TWICE THE MAN

*15 years later*

*Lukes POV* 

i limped into my local Starbucks my pants felt empty and void now that penis number 1 was gone. I stroked my now orange mohawk which i decided to get after my so called friends kicked me out of the band because apparently its not okay to start crying or peeing when we were doing shows. But it doesnt matter anymore anyway, I was persuing my new better dream of becoming the first human dog to compete in the well respected international dog show 'Crufts' 

i fidgeted with my balls as i waited for my water with cream when i saw her. Holly Willoughby. She Looked hot as tits, which she also had. However she wasn't who i was interested nonnoononono. I wanted to get me some Philip Schoefield. He was the man of my dreams and the one person i hoped would take me to crufts. So very quickly i decided that if I got in with Holly then maybe somehow i could wiggle like a squid into big Phillys pants, oopps i meant heart ;-)

"HOLLLLLYYYY wannna shag, gimme youur number and i'll hit you up laterr" i said very sexily. She looked like she wanted a nibble of this piece of man pie and i knew i was in. She gave me her number and i felt one step closer to getting my hands on phils dong, oops i meant personality ;-)

Once i got home i put on my dwayne the rock johnson pyjamas to put me in the mood and began to text Holly.

LUke:  Hey Holly 😉 🍆 I Know you want to get with this and lets face it who wouldn't so how about we you know have a nice lunch where you could invite um idk any friends you have maybe one called phil HMMMM? X   

Unknown: Um sorry who is this?

Luke: Hollly, it is I teh beautiful LUke hemmings from starbucks 

*DEMOLIZ POV*

Oh my sausage roll heart, luke, the love of my life, The guy who dumped me because my gorgeous friend nicola drove over his numer 1 penis has texted me. But he doesnt know its me. Oh my i have such conflicting emotions, DO i tell him its me and risk him blocking my number or do i pretend to be holly and ask him to send me a willy piccy. Oh my goodness my life is so hard. But wait .... I have an idea i will tell him he has the wrong number but i wont tell him it's me. Ill come up with a fake name, something like abigail and i will satrt talking to him and by the time he finds out who i really am we will already be in love. There is definitely no flaws in this plan and im sure it will go so so very well.

Deminala: well Luke, I dont know any Holly but I for sure would be up for getting to know each other xx ;-) 🍆 

Authors Note

Hi everyone sorry I've let you all down recently and been so inactive i have had so much to do I got married and divorced six times and i am currently experminting with a throat singing band, leave a comment telling me what you thought of this chapter and maybe if you have any ideas taht aren't terrible you could inspire me on what to write about next chapet

QOTD: who is your ffavourite ship so far dememeand luke (DUKE), Holly and luke (LOLLY) or Phil and Luke (PUKE)