Becoming Us || l.h

Chapter 8

I lay with my head in Ashton's lap, fiddling with the strings of my sweatshirt. "Remember you can always come to one of us if you need anything." He tells me, twisting a strand of my hair around his fingers. I nod, putting the strings down and crossing my arms over my chest.

"I'm serious, Dylan. We can help you." I bite my lip, trying to figure out how to word what I want to say. "I-" I pause, still unsure. "I couldn't go to my brothers for help because they were already stressed enough with having to take care of me and figure everything out after my parents left. I barely know you guys..." I drift off, thinking. "I can try, but I'm still learning to trust you." I finish, looking up at him. He nods, giving me a small smile. "That's completely understandable. I just want you to know you do have people looking out for you." I return his smile with a small one of my own, nodding.

The door to the room opens, and someone comes in, Ashton and I ignoring it, assuming it was Luke. "When I tried to kill myself, my brother had found me bleeding in my bathroom. He had called my parents, and when they arrived, they told all of us not to tell Blake because they didn't want to mess anything up for him or make him stressed or some shit like that. He still doesn't know. So do you think you could keep it between us? For a little while longer while he sorts out the Rachel drama at least?" Ashton nods, and I let out a sigh.

"Dylan?" I shoot up, staring at Blake with wide eyes. I freeze up, staring at him. "Can you give us a minute?" He asks Ashton, his voice thick. Ashton nods, leaving. Blake takes his spot, watching me. "Why wouldn't you tell me? You know I told you I would be there for you!" He starts, and I immediately start crying, everything coming crashing down at once. He pulls me onto his lap, hugging me. "I'm sorry," I tell him, crying into his shoulder.

"Stop, this isn't your fault." He shakes his head, rocking us gently. "I will be talking to mom about this, but you need to tell me everything when you've calmed down." I nod, hiccuping. I try to take a deep breath, but it comes in shudders, making me unable to catch my breath. "Deep breaths, Dylan. You're okay." Blake mumbles, rubbing my back. I take another deep breath, this one coming in a little more smoothly. I keep taking deep breaths, calming down.

"A couple of months after you left, I had been spiraling straight down and one day I just kinda snapped. I'd had a shitty day at school, Zach and Austin were at work all the time, you were gone, mom had called to yell at me for getting my third Saturday school, I had failed two tests, I was bullied... I snapped after everything over the past few months had added up, and I cut up my arms. Austin found me, crying on the bathroom floor close to passing out from the blood loss and dehydration. He took me to the hospital and had I cut any deeper I'd be dead right now. They made mom and dad come down to discuss treatment, but I didn't want to go to rehab and mom didn't want to pay for it, for fear of the public finding out Blake Ryan's sister is a screw-up. That's how she put it. So she left to go back to you and Austin, and Zach made sure one of them was always home with me and locked up anything sharp, and whenever I had to shave I had to show them my wrists after. I have been clean for nine months though. I almost broke today though because of hate, but Ashton and Luke stopped me." I tell him, wiping my eyes repeatedly, not looking at Blake during the entire story.

"You should have called me. I could have come home and spent some time with you. I had time to waste, and I could have helped." "You were busy writing and organizing opening for tours. Austin and Zach watched over me." I assure him, glancing up at him. His eyes are glossy like he is close to tears. "Blake, I'm really sorry I didn't tell you." "Hey, hey. It's okay." He tells me, wrapping me in a hug. "How's your head feeling?" He asks, holding my head and looking in my eyes. "Better." I nod. "Good. Two weeks sounds very boring spending it on a bus." I laugh, leaning against him.

"You should probably get to your practice. I'm gonna take a nap if I don't see you before your show, good luck." I tell him, standing up. "Thanks." He smiles, standing as well and giving me one last hug. "Come find any of us if you need help." He tells me, kissing my forehead. I nod, watching him leave the room. I slump into the couch, letting out a long sigh.