It had been a couple of months since you had started. You sat in the girls toilets crying as you watched your scarlet blood leave a trail down your arm. You had stolen a letter opener from an empty classroom and had been using that to release the stress and pain you felt all the time. You used some toilet roll you wipe the tears from your face and then used some more to wipe the blood from your arm until the fresh cuts were no longer bleeding
-
You made your way to the common room where you were greeted by your three best friends: James, Remus and Sirius.
"Hey y/n." Remus beamed up at you.
"Hi guys." You put on a false smile trying to act as if you hadn't been crying. "How are things?"
"Not bad I guess. No detentions today for a change." James replied
"Nice." You laughed. "You're improving." The conversation continued and you found it harder and harder to keep up this stupid charade. It was especially difficult when you could feel Remus' eyes on you at all times studying the way you pretended to smile and laugh at James and Sirius.
"Hey guys, I'm gonna go get changed quickly." You said getting up and walking off.
"Okay see you in a few minutes then." Sirius called after you.
-
You pulled off your jumper and inspected your arm. Most of the blood had dried but a couple of the cuts had started to bleed again onto your shirt sleeves leaving crimson red marks on the bright white fabric. You looked at your arm not quite knowing what to do with it. Usually you were able to cover some of the worse scars in foundation or something just in case your sleeve lifted up or something. But these were open wounds and you didn't want to risk them getting infected. Just as you peeled back your sleeve fully you heard your door open. James, Sirius and Remus crashed into the room and stood in the doorway as you pulled your sleeve down as far as it would go and hid your arm behind your back quickly.
"What are you doing up here?!" You yelled at them.
"Well when you left Remus told us that he thought you were upset. He said he noticed you were acting weirdly and some of your makeup had been smudged so we came up here to check you were okay." Sirius explained.
"Well I'm fine." You said moodily.
"Then what are you hiding behind your back?" Asked Remus.
"Nothing." You replied.
"Show us then."
"No I don't need to. Get out!"
"Y/n, come here." Remus said softly as he saw the tears begin to form in your eyes. "Show me." You took your arm out from behind your back as a fat tear rolled down your cheek. The three of them looked at your arm in shock seeing the harsh red cuts and the paler scars covering your arm.
"Why y/n?" James asked looking shocked.
"It's hard to explain. I just feel like shit all the time and I can't always explain why." You said not even attempting to hold back the tears this time. "I just feel like I'm never good enough and no matter what I do that's not gonna change. No one cares about someone like me."
"We do." Sirius said as the others nodded. "You're beautiful y/n. And talented. And smart. And kind."
"Guys can I talk to y/n for a sec." Remus asked. The two boys nodded and left the room shutting the door behind them. "Y/n. Please don't do this. Please."
"It's hard sometimes okay. Sometimes I just want to end it all. Give up. But I don't. This is how I cope and I'm not proud of it. I'm ashamed of myself. I'm ashamed of my scars..." You sobbed.
"Don't be." He whispered. "Look." He began to unbutton his own shirt revealing his broad shoulders as he turned around. "I have scars too. There's nothing to be ashamed of."
"How did you get them?" you asked transfixed by his muscley arms and strong shoulders.
"I got pretty much all of these when I was transformed so I can't really remember. But they don't go away even when I become human again." He explained. "Please y/n, don't be ashamed." he said pulling you into a hug so that you could feel his warm skin against your face making you blush slightly.
-
Weeks passed and you finally had built up the courage to go out wearing something that showed your scars. Remus had promised to stay close to you for comfort and James and Sirius weren't far away either. You were walking to Herbology when you passed a boy from Slytherin house and he noticed the scars on your arm.
"Ugh stupid idiot. Bet you're just doing it for the attention." He muttered as he passed you.
"What did you say?" James asked defensively as you tried not to burst into tears. Remus hurried you off to the greenhouse comforting you as James and Sirius stayed behind.
"Right you stay here. I'll be back any second I just want to go check on the other two." He said leaving the green house.
-
They came back in a few minutes later and stood at the back of the greenhouse. You noticed James' lip was bleeding and Sirius looked fairly ruffled up. It was then you noticed Remus' knuckle was red and saw.
"What did you do to him?" You asked in shock.
"Nothing he didn't deserve." Remus replied still looking angry.
-
The end of the day came around and you hadn't been in any lessons with the boys since Herbology. Hoping everyone had calmed down you went over to where Remus was sat on his own.
"Where are tweedledum and tweedledee?" You asked.
"Detention as usual." He replied laughing stiffly.
"Look Remus, I wanted to thank you for earlier. You didn't have to do that for me but thank you anyway."
"It's fine y/n honestly. That little shit had it coming."
"Can I sit with you for a bit?" You asked shyly.
"Of course you can he smiled." You sat down by him leaning your head on his shoulder as you felt him put his arm around you and felt his strong arm pull you closer to him.
"I really care about you y/n."
