This Is How It Goes ~ Brallon

This is how it ends

Brenny😘: I love you so much but I can't stay here anymore goodbye

Me: what do you mean

Me: Brendon say something

Me: Bren don't do this

Me: where are you

Me: answer me

Me: God damn it Brendon you're scaring me

Me: Brendon please don't do anything stupid

Me: I'm gonna call the cops if you don't respond

Me: come on please don't do this

Me: I'm calling the cops

I opened up my phone and dialed 911. "911 what's your emergency?" The operator asks. "Um uh I-I think my boyfriend is trying to kill himself please you have to help."

"Okay calm down. Can you tell me where he is." "I-I don't know last I knew he went home." "Okay I'll send officers to his house. Where does he live?"

I tell the operator Brendon's address. After I hang up I drive to Brendon's house. Faggot is spray painted on his garage. That can't be good. I got out of my car and knocked on the door.

Someone which I assume is his father opens the door. "Who are you?" "I'm one of Brendon's friends I was wondering if he's home." "Brendon is no longer staying here," the man says. I turn around to leave when he says, "and if your the reason my son is a faggot then I never want you to come back ever again."

I turn back around. "Are you serious-" I stop talking cause I hear sirens. The cop car pulls up into the drive way. "Why are the cops here!?" "Because while you were too busy focusing on your sons sexuality he messaged me something that sounded like he was gonna kill himself."

"Well I'd rather him be dead then living a life of sin." I punched him in the face. The cops ran up to me and pulled me away from him. "He's your son! You care more about what a book tells you than your own flesh and blood!?"

"Get off my property!" I get in my car and drive around town looking for Brendon. I can't find him anywhere. I park my car at Walmart and pull out my phone.

Me: please tell me where you are

I have to go to the bathroom so I quickly get out of my car and run into Walmart. I make my way to the bathrooms. I get in and check for feet under the stalls when I see something. Someone is laying on the floor in the big stall. Someone as in Brendon.

I run out of the bathroom and get an employee. They open the bathroom stall. I run in. There's pill bottles all over the floor and they're empty "call 911," I tell the employee.

I hold Brendon in my arms until the ambulance gets here. When the ambulance arrives the get him on the gurney and take him to the hospital. I get into my car and follow them.

I get to the hospital and ask about Brendon. They tell me I have to wait in the waiting room. I wait for hours before someone calls Brendon's name. I stand up and walk over to the doctor.

"I am so sorry to tell you-" the doctor starts. "No don't say it. He's not dead." "I'm sorry but he is." "No! Oh god no. C-Can I see him?" "Follow me."

I follow the doctor to the room Brendon is in. He opens the door and all I see is a body covered up by a blanket. The doctor uncovers him to reveal a pale lifeless version of Brendon.

Oh my god. I should've found him sooner. I shouldn't have let him walk home alone. I should've been with him. This is all my fault. No, no this is Ryan's fault.

I give Brendon a hug and kiss him one last time. "I'm gonna fix this Brendon." The sun was starting to go down. It was 9:30 by the time I got to Ryan's house.

I knock on the door. A couple seconds later Ryan opens the door. "Wha-" I punch Ryan. I push him against the wall. And I continue to hit him.

He uses his hands to cover his face. So I start kicking him. I kick him in the balls and he screams. His parents come running in. "Get off him!" his mother shrieks his dad tries to pull me off of him but I keep hitting him.

"Honey call the police," Ryan's dad says. My knuckles are covered in a mix of mine and Ryan's blood. I kept hitting him though. It's like something inside me snapped. All my emotions I was holding in just came pouring out of me. I started crying. The cops showed up and pulled me off Ryan.

They put me in hand cuffs then set me in the back of the police car. They asked me what happened tonight. "Ryan's a fucking pig that's what happened. He deserves what he got!" I yell at him. He's sitting in the ambulance getting cleaned up.

"What for telling the truth!?" Ryan yells. "The only person who's a whore is you for raping Brendon!" "What are you talking about!" "Don't act stupid! He told you to stop and you just kept going!"

"What are you guys talking about?" The officer asks. "I have the proof on my phone of Brendon messaging me on Christmas saying he thinks he was raped. He told Ryan to stop but Ryan kept telling him it was okay."

"He wanted it!" "No he didn't he was crying to me at school after break because he thought if he told anyone then people would think he didn't like guys!" "If that's true then get him to say it to my face!" "I c-can't!" "Why!? Because it's not true!?"

"No! because what you did to him today caused him to kill himself!" "You're lying!" "No I'm not! I-I j-just came from the hospital! Brendon's d-dead and his parents d-don't care." "You're lying! He's not dead." "Yes he is! And it's all y-your f-fucking f-fault! If I wanted to beat you up for raping Brendon I would've done it weeks ago! I came here because what you did caused Brendon to kill himself!"

"Okay just get in the car we'll question you down at the police station," the cop says. I sit in the car and the cop gets in and takes me away.

At the police station. I get questioned about the rape accusation and suicide. I hand them my phone so that they can go through the texts. Then they tell me I'm gonna be held at the jail with my bail set at $2000 for beating up Ryan.

They let me have one phone call. I reluctantly called my parents. They bailed me out but not without grounding me for life.

***

The first guy I've ever loved is laying right in front of me. In a casket. I didn't get enough time with him. But I will never forget the time we had. This may be how his story ends but it's how my story begins.

Without Brendon I would've never came out to my parents. I could never be brave enough to date a man. It might take me a while to move on but at least I won't be afraid about who it's going to be with. "I love you so much but I can't stay here anymore goodbye Brendon."