The demon in me

Chapter 17

Sam and Dean got the idea that I was taking the reigns on this one, that I knew more than I let on, but they didn't ask questions. They knew nothing more than what they needed to. 

"It's at the warehouse, just off of route 73." I don't know how I knew, I just...did. We collectively managed to retrieve 24 blades, 14 shotguns, 7 vials of dead-mans blood and 1 colt. Yet, I wasn't feeling to confident. We collected together our belongings and headed down the wooden corridors of the motel to the lobby, where we quickly checked out. I half dragged my feet across the car park, going as slowly as possible, out of fear. I was procrastinating, I know. I just...didn't feel ready yet. I had a terrible feeling about this hunting trip. Meanwhile, Dean had reached the impala and was impatiently bouncing on the balls of his feet, itching to get started. Sam had hung back with me, giving me nervous glances. After the sixth or seventh look, I decided to break the tension.

"What??!" I whined at him.

"Nothing.."

"What is it?"

"Its just... are you okay?"

"I'm fine,come on, Dean's waiting." I took a slight breath before pushing on at a normal pace towards our cars sitting side by side in the parking lot. Sam, with his gigantor legs, caught up in all but 3 seconds. Then fitted his pace to mine, so we reached the cars in about another 10 seconds.

"Come on guys, I haven't got my hands on a vamp in ages!" Dean grinned like a 6 year old at Christmas, in a ruffled, childish way. 

I squeezed his cheeks. "Well isn't someone excited?" I let go and he massaged them slightly as they had pinked slightly from my unintentional rough grip.

"Do you guys know the area pretty well?"

"mmhmm." Dean nodded.

"Okay i'll follow you in my car then?"

With no objections, I turned on my heels and headed to the neighbouring vehicle. Behind me I heard the start of the impala's engine as I reached my car. I leant against my car door, out of sight, and covered my face with my hands. Trying to collect myself. I groaned into my palms, then wiped them over my cheeks before removing them. The sound of a clearing throat sounded about 2 yards from me and I quickly looked up startled. Sam stood there awkwardly.

"You look like you could use company?" He made his way around my car, to the passenger side. I didn't want company, I wanted this car journey to allow myself to crumple slightly, then recompose before I completely lose it and before we arrive.

"umm...well...actually...could, could I be alone for now?"

Sam's face looked downcast momentarily but he obviously noticed that I wasn't exactly in the mood to negotiate right now. He walked back round to the drivers side, where I still stood leaning against the door. I pushed my back from the door to stand upright and walked into his now outstretched arms. Feeling his warmth and smelling his familiarity, tears threatened to choke me, but I fought them back and wrapped my arms around his waist. The honk of a horn brought us back to reality.

"Are we going today or not?" Dean yelled whilst hitting the side of his car affectionately. I sniffed slightly before pulling myself from Sam's arms and jumping into my car. I watched Sam make his way back to the impala and turned on the ignition. I pulled out of my car park spot and pulled up behind Sam and Dean. I honked the horn twice and they pulled out and turned left out of the exit. I speedily followed. 

        Once I was sure they were no longer watching out for me, through their mirrors, I sagged in my seat and allowed my iron features to contort into a grimace of torment. For a few minutes, I wouldn't allow the tears to spill but as the lump in my throat swelled gradually becoming painful. Then they fell, slowly at first ,then continuously, making my cheeks sting, my head ache and my throat raw. Drawing in ragged breaths, I noticed we were on route 73 and we would soon be there. I had to stop crying now. Slow breathing, trying to calm down, I eventually stemmed the flow of tears but my face still looked raw and red. It wasn't long before we turned off from route 73 and the panic set in. My breathing and heart rate sped and it took everything I had to stop myself from hyperventilating.  At least 100 yards before the warehouse Dean pulled the car over to the side of the dirt track we were bumping our way down. I heard the flawless sounds of their engine cutting out and the subtle creak of their car doors as they got out of the car. I sat paralyzed with fear, gripping the leather upholstery of my seat. A knock on my window made me jump out of my seat. Dean stood grinning outside of my window, I unbuckled my seat belt and quickly stumbled out of the car.