𝑎 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 * 𝑏𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑖

𝑡𝑤𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑦 𝑒𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡

"𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑦 𝑡𝘩𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩 𝑖'𝑣𝑒 𝑐𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑒𝑦𝑒𝑠, 𝑖 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑤𝘩𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑖 𝑎𝑚."

y/n's pov

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

I had grown tired of my voicemail being filled with countless messages from jean, pleads to meet up, pleads to know why it was eren. I don't know why I was straying further and further from him but the truth is the more sessions I had with Mr.Ackerman the more I realized jean had simply been a stand-in. someone who was there to allow me to deny what it was I really wanted and what it was I was truly thinking.

I loved jean, he was there for me when eren left me heartbroken or on my knees begging to just understand why it was me that he chose to ruin but the both of us had taken advantage of the situation we were in. how can one part a 3 year relationship only to move on to someone like me and claim to have fallen in love? deep down I knew it was Mikasa he still cared for, I think what jean wanted was for someone to replace her just without being too different from her.

but I couldn't act as if I wasn't looking to do the same with him, I constantly looked for anything reminiscent of eren in jean, but in truth, it only left the both of us disappointed.

I knocked on the door leading to his apartment and patiently waited for an answer, all I could hope for was this talk wasn't going to end in me never speaking to jean again. the door was pulled open to reveal a disgruntled jean whose hair was all over the place and looked as if he hadn't showered in days, "come in." he nearly sounded choked up whilst motioning me inside.

the energy in the air was suffocatingly awkward and tension levels were at their peak between us, "so...how have you been jean?" I dragged out my words hoping to ease the both of us into the conversation.

his eyes never once strayed over to me, he stared forward; "shitty but it seems like it's not the same for you." his voice had a bit of force behind it.

I dug my nails into the cushion of his couch and tried to gather my thoughts, "assumptions won't get us anywhere. I've been shitty too jean please let's not argue I just want to talk."

he tilted his head cracking a small smile, "what exactly is there to talk about? you said you wanted a break, let me guess you really wanna end things now to go run back to the dick who can't even get his life together. if so just go."

I understood his anger and frustration but I wasn't going to let him think that his feelings validated talking to me with little to no respect, "you can be upset but don't ever in your life talk to me that way again," I stood up in front of the boy and stared down at him, "you want me to be blunt jean? you caught me in an open and vulnerable state and you sunk your hands into what was left of me. you want me to be this perfect unemotional person and I'm so sorry that I can't be! I cannot be a sparkling image of who you wanted Mikasa to be and you can't be one of eren. we were both desperate to just have someone love us and to stay with us, I appreciate all that you've done for me and for all I experienced with you but I can't hold your life in my hands and you can't hold mine in yours either jean. be with the person you really loved not the rebound." I spoke with ease keeping my eyes on him at all times.