The Nesscas Bible

So, Picture This

Lucas

Ness nudges me and holds his hands out in front of us.

"So, picture this." He says, spreading his hands a little bit.

"Mhm?" I say, curious.

"There's a beach, right? Now, on that beach is you and me. You keeping up?"

"Yep."

"Good. We're building sandcastles, but! They aren't sandcastles, they're actually sand office buildings!"

"... What?"

"Yes! And then... Sand apartments, sand parks, sand stadiums with sand people and sand football players!"

"Ness-"

"And a little sand family with two sand kids names Sandy and Sandra."

"... Are you done? Is your sand fantasy over?"

"... And for Sandmas, sand Santa - or Sanda - brings sand for all of the good little sand boys and sand girls."

"And that's it? Is it over?"

"Yeah."

"You certainly have an active imagination."

"It's fun to make up random shit on the spot."

"Sure sounds it."

-

I select Luigi on Mario kart and Ness chooses Peach. The countdown finishes, and off we go.

"Hey, Lucas." Ness says, glancing at me.

"Yes?" I ask.

"So, picture this." He says, hitting me with a red shell.

"Oh god, not again."

"You're on the back of a dinosaur, but the dinosaur is me, because I was transformed into a dinosaur by a fairy!"

"What...?"

"And so you get to be the only person ever to ride a dinosaur, but then we need to fight the fairy in order to turn me back into a human again. Little does the fairy know, I'm more powerful as a dinosaur than I am as a human. Have you ever seen a dinosaur use PSI?"

"I've seen one breathe fire before."

"Yeah well shut up this is still cool. So we beat the fairy and I turn back into a human and we smooch. A lot."

"Uh, w-what?" I ask, freezing up. Ness takes the chance to zoom past me with a mushroom and take first place.

"Ha ha! Never stop concentrating!"

"Ness! You ball of stale spaghetti!" I say, pouting.

"I'm the best!" He yells in Toad's voice.

-

I enter the last level on the first Mario, Bowser's final castle, the only level I haven't beaten.

"Hey, Lucas. I've got something to tell you about." Ness says, nudging me.

"Uh, what is it?"

"So, picture this. You and me in Scaraba. We're... On fire, and slowly burning to death. Suddenly, some old guy descends from the clouds and pours a bucket of water all of us, so we're fine. We're horribly burnt and scary looking, but we're fine."

"Ness, now is really not the time."

"It's always the time, dear Lucas. And so, horribly burned and dead inside, we go and sit on top of a tree. But the tree has healing powers and it heals our burns so we're fine and look normal again. And then we fuck."

"N-Ness! What's up with you and me doing gay stuff!?"

"It's funny to see you flustered."

"Well, heck you." I say, running under Bowser and getting the axe. "Ha! Ha ha! You didn't get me killed this time!"

I turn to him and get surprise kissed on the mouth.

"Never lose concentration!" He yells, smiling.

"Ness! What? Uh? Ah!" I say trying to understand what just happened.

"Fuck you, Lucas! You're cute, and I want to do gay stuff with you. Do you wanna be my boyfriend?" He asks, going quiet towards the end.

"You are honestly the most confusing person I've ever met. Of course I'll be your boyfriend." I say, smiling. Wow.

"Woo!" He yells, throwing his arms in the air.

-

I pick Ness up and begin carrying him around. He finds it fun, and I like carrying people, so it's a win-win situation.

"Okay, so picture this." He says, holding his hands out.

"Yeah?"

"You. Me. In my room. Naked~."

"Ness!" I yell, dropping him. "Ah! Sorry!"

Here's a stupid happy one shot because I'm super proud of myself for doing something ok bye