konami code ❀ timothée chalamet [COMPLETED]

written letter

maye,

it's been a little over two years since we first met, and two years exactly since you agreed to do that thing where you mutually love someone unconditionally. what's it called? dating? yeah, that. i wouldn't trade those two years for the world.

growing up, as you know, love was a struggle for me. girls came and they went, but nothing ever lasted, and it was never their fault. the girls were always kind, caring, loving. they always wanted me to feel supported, and i did, but the relationships i developed with them never turned romantic. i began to believe i wasn't going to find love, and i was learning to accept that. i was too complex, my personality far too severe to match up with someone else's. the planets avoided alignment for me, every love bound to be star-crossed. soulmates were a figment of my imagination, a glimmer in my eye, never to exist outside of that. i'd assume that's why, being so sincere with you as we lied under the stars the night we met, i felt so vulnerable. it didn't upset me, though, to feel that way. caught me off guard, yes, but something about the way you looked me in the eyes as the constellations reflected in yours gave me a sense of comfort that calmed my rising tension. nothing and everything mattered all at once, and i finally learned to let go. i'll never forget the night i told you i loved you. raindrops sparkled in your hair, teardrops sparkled on my face, and you smiled, and when my broken heart mended itself at the sight of your content, i knew it was real. you told me you trusted me, and that meant more to you than 'i love you.' to this day, i replay that in my mind constantly, reassuring myself that no matter what happens, something is right in the world. it still baffles me how you manage to love me, of all people. how the most beautiful woman to ever cross my path saw me and thought, 'this is the one.' maybe it was destiny. maybe our torment and suffering led us to each other because we belong together. or maybe i'm just lucky. either way, i won't complain. you taught me what people mean when they say they found a home in somebody. you made me understand how someone can simply hear someone else's voice and feel as though all is right in the world.

you've always told me call me by your name was your favorite movie, that it portrayed the kind of love you only dreamed of falling into. last year, the night your grandfather died, you asked me to come over, and we watched the movie together under bundles of blankets while you curled up in my arms. i'll admit, watching myself fall in love with a man on screen while sitting with my girlfriend was strange, but it made you happy and that's what mattered to me. a little over halfway through the movie, you told that it had changed your life. that i changed your life. i remember you thanking me for being a part of something that made you feel like love was something that lasted, even if the characters didn't end up together in the end. with tears in your eyes, you said to me, "this taught me to cherish the things that matter. i cherish you, timothee. i try to." later on, you fell asleep in my lap. i ran my fingers through your hair and cried, because i knew you were hurting, and i knew things felt broken, but to know that in the moments where your life was the darkest you turned to something i was a part of made me realize i had purpose beyond acting. i didn't realize i was so important. you showed me that i mean something to someone. you proved to me that i wasn't just another dot on an infinite timeline that would never amount to anything. no, you taught me that i was significant because i made people happy, because i mattered. and, more importantly, you showed me i mattered to you. i truly hope with all my heart i have returned that favor for as long as we've known each other. you mean the universe and more to me. i can honestly say without doubt that we have the kind of love displayed within that film, and i can promise that it won't be broken in the end. we have the stars, you and i. and that is given only once. you are the only person i'd like to say goodbye to when i die, because only then will this thing i call my life make any sense. and if i should hear that you died, my life as i know it, the me that is writing to you now, will cease to exist.

so frankly, elsie maye, you may have beat the system, you may have cracked the konami code, but in the end, the reality of the situation is that i won the game and ended up with the only prize that has ever mattered to me - you.

with utmost love,
timothee chalamet

p.s.
pack your bags. two weeks worth. something cool. i'll be round your house at 10 tomorrow morning. i love you.