Unexpected Encounters [B.H.M.]

24

Luckily the waitress saved us from an awkward silence when she brought the food. However, we still didn't say very much anymore. Brian seemed to be lost in his thoughts, so I let him be. He had that sometimes, but that was okay. He always snapped out of it eventually. And he did this time too. He lifted his head slowly and wiped his eyes quickly. "So... what have you been up to these days?" He asked quietly, his voice barely functioning.

That was his way of doing things, to turn the conversation to me if he had enough of talking about himself. But he always covered it politely, as he had just done - he wanted to know how I was doing - he said so at least. But I think he usually was genuinely interested in me. "Not particularly much, sorry to disappoint. I just go to work usually, not much more exciting. I don't get to travel and meet exciting people like you do. But that's okay."

Brian nodded a little. "You get to meet and work with lots of kids, that's also exciting."

"That's true," I agreed. "Oh, but I did go to have a look at the shelter I told you about, and I went for a walk with one of their dogs. That was fun, I'm definitely going to do that more often."

That got Brian's attention. I had already learned that he loved animals. "You did? That's great. That sounds like a good thing to do regularly. If that's okay I might join you some time."

I had hoped he'd want that. Animals cured the soul and if anyone needed that, it was him. "You're more than welcome, they said that wouldn't be a problem at all," I assured him. "I asked because of insurance and all that, but that's no problem. I can just let you know when I'm going next time and then you can decide if you want to go, if you have time that day."

"That sounds good to me," Brian agreed. "I'd appreciate that, if you thought of me."

"Of course, you think of fun things to do for us too. And I got the feeling you like animals. Plus, who can resist a cute dog that wants to have fun?"

Brian smiled a little. "Very true. Dogs are wonderful animals. They're so genuinely happy, I envy that ability."

I could imagine he did. "I think by spending some time with them, they can teach us that a little. You'll just have to come along net time, you'll see," I added with a smile.

"I will," he said, sounding a little more determined than I had expected if I was honest.

We enjoyed the bit of food that we had mostly in quiet. I tried initiating a conversation a few times, but Brian didn't seem like he could really focus, he seemed lost in his thoughts. But I still got the feeling that he was relieved he wasn't alone. And if I could do that, that was already good enough for me. The one thing I wanted to prevent was that he felt lonely and unwanted. One didn't necessarily entail the other, but in his state of mind, it often did inevitably. I knew that only too well and if I could prevent him from feeling that way simply by being there, then why shouldn't I help him?

Those few minutes of quiet seemed to have been what he needed because after he had paid - for both of us, after he had insisted a lot - he seemed to be in a slightly better - or at least a less bad mood. He still wasn't what you'd call talkative, but he did talk to me a little about the few things he had managed to actively look at at the gardening fair. And when it seemed that he had decided he had talked enough, I filled him in on the rest, at least on what I had seen of the rest. And he seemed to appreciate that, to enjoy that because when we got closer to my flat he seemed to be driving a little slower after each turn. It was odd, but I didn't question it.

Eventually, he did park the car in front of my flat and turned off the motor. "Alright... so ... here we are," he pointed out the obvious.

"We are. How are you feeling?" I asked. He should know that I cared.

But he just shrugged. "I don't really know if I'm honest ... I don't know," he repeated and sighed heavily.

"That's alright, Brian. Sometimes it's okay not to know. Try not to pressure yourself too much," I told him. I always felt like I had to say something, because if I didn't ... and something happened ... then I would never forgive myself.

"It's hard, Frida...," he said quietly. "But I try.."

"That's good, Brian. Sometimes the fact that you're trying is enough already. And you know, if you don't want to be alone, or if you need someone to talk to, you have my number, you know my address... you know where I work. I'm always there for you, any time of day."

Brian nodded a little with a smile. "Thank you. I appreciate that a lot, Frida. But don't worry, I'm not going to visit you at work or come over in the middle of the night," he assured me.

But that wasn't what I wanted to hear. "You could, though, Brian. I mean that. Anytime. Sometimes it just can't wait."

He looked at me, seeming surprised by my insistence. But I was serious, because this was serious. Finally he nodded. "Okay. Thank you. I'll keep that in mind, I promise. I do already have your number in my wallet so that I always have it with me."

That made me smile. "That's good. I'm glad to hear that." I placed my hand on his arm gently. "I'm not going to keep you any longer. I did enjoy today, thank you."

"You're welcome, Frida. I appreciate that you want to spend time with me despite everything," he told me and paused before he did something that completely took me by surprise. "Thank you so much for being such a wonderful friend," he told me quietly before he leaned in, a small smile flashing over his face before kissed my cheek softly.

I widened my eyes a little, unsure what to do but unable to keep a smile off my face. He lingered a moment longer than he probably should have - according to society's standards. I didn't mind at all though, I was so surprised. "Oh," I exclaimed quietly when he had pulled away, and touched my cheek. "Uhm... you... you're welcome," I managed to tell him. And when I looked at him he was smiling as well, that was a wonderful sight.

"So.. I have the kids over the weekend. I get them for two nights, but maybe you want to come over anyway?"

Oh. I took a deep breath and slowly shook my head. "I appreciate the offer, but I don't want to steal your kids' time with you. You should enjoy your time with them in full, aright? But we'll meet up next week and then you can tell me what you did with them. Okay?"

He seemed genuinely disappointed, the slight frown on his face now a harsh contrast to the smile from before. "Okay...""

"But if you need something - or someone, just give me a call. And if you do want me to spend some time with the kids and you together, then that would be nice, on a trip or something. On neutral grounds. And you have to promise me you'll check with them beforehand. Ask them if they're okay with that. They don't get a lot of time with you and I don't want them to get the wrong idea."

"The wrong idea?" He asked me.

"Yeah, like that I'm trying to ruin their day or steal their time with you... or even worse, that you'd rather spend time with me than with them. Kids are creative. Just talk to them to make sure."

Brian seemed surprised, apparently he hadn't thought of that. "Oh.. Alright. That's a good point, Frida. Thank you for thinking of that.."

Ah this was dangerous. The last thing I wanted was that he considered himself a bad father. He was not, I just had an outsider's view on things. "That's what I do at work too, Brian, don't worry. It's not that I don't want to spend time with them, I just don't want it to go wrong."

"Yes, now I get it. Thank you," he said quietly. "I don't want them to think I don't want to spend time with them. I do. I just think it might be fun - and a little less stressful - if we all spend time together. You like kids, don't you?"

"I do," I confirmed. "Don't worry. I think that could be fun too, but only if they are okay with it."

"I promise I'll talk to them when I get a chance. And then I'll give you a call either Sunday or Monday evening ... or if I need something."

I smiled at him. "That sounds good. Alright. Enjoy your weekend with the kids, and I'll talk to you next week. Get home safely," I told him before I made sure I had everything. He wished me a good night before I got out and went inside. What a day that had been.