Almost A Teen

Oh my breadsticks!

Dear Diary,

I'm in a bad mood. I don't have time for nicknames.

I AM NOT HAVING A GOOD DAY.

Everyone has been laughing at me because of my stupid eyebrow situation. Apparently, I look hideous. Lindon doesn't want to be my best friend anymore because her cat scratched her face after she caught her. AND. She's now friends with Tallulah, who is my biggest enemy! (After my brother) and now they're both calling me No Left Eyebrow Cherry. WHAT A HANDFUL! So now I officially hate Lindon. I don't want her cat named after me. I'll sue if I must.

Can you believe this isn't the worst of it?!

We had to do RUNNING in PE! I hate running. Why can't I just eat an apple instead? That's healthy right? AE – Apple Education.

Okay – so anyway. I'm running, and I FELL OVER. I look up and I fell right in front of Jason! And do you know what he said to me? "Cherry. You're not even kinda cute anymore. Ew"

EW?! WHAT IN THE NAME OF SHREK DO YOU MEAN EW?! MY EYEBROW WILL GROW BACK.

So, then I walked home with my earphones in listening to Celine Dion – All by Myself.

When I finally go through the doors of hell, my mother calls me in to talk to me. Do you know what she told me? Get ready. MY BROTHER LOST ELVIS. Elvis is my hamster. He's chubby and I like watching him get stuck in the little tubes in his cage. I once started playing Hound Dog in my room and I could have sworn on the fate of Shrek 5 that he started to wiggle his butt to the tune.

Him and adult Elvis would have been great friends.

I need to find him. I googled and apparently hamsters live three to four days without food or water. That gives me, minus the hours he's already been missing, 93 hours to find him. I just have to hope he doesn't chew into any electricity cables.

I'M COMING FOR YOU ELVIS!

~~~

I can't find him anywhere. I've spent the past 30 minutes just searching my room. I did spend an hour looking elsewhere but I've been sent up here again for punching my brother in the face. Why does he have to be a snitch? If I was him, I'd just hit me back. I didn't mean that. Don't tell anyone that I said that.

If my brother reads this, tell him if he does anything then I'll make sure he never sees daylight again. Mwhahaha.

I don't think I'm ever going to school again. I'm a public humiliation. I don't know what else I can do except pretend I'm ill. Maybe I'll dip a thermometer in my dad's coffee. That doesn't actually sound like such a bad idea. Then I bet you the money from the Incredibles box office income that Jason will miss me, and he'll take me to the summer dance!

But maybe I'll reject him and make him cry for calling me EW. I still can't believe he did that.

OH, MY BREADSTICKS! I SEE ELVIS BETWEEN THE FLOOR BOARDS!