Almost A Teen

Emphasis on dude.

Dear Diaryzo

(That's your new nickname) I have decided you're a dude. Not because I want you to be a dude because it's weird telling all my thoughts to a dude. Emphasis on dude. You're a dude because I can't bare to think that I've replaced my good old friend Diaryza that is probably sitting there being read by some freaky old guy called Sam with grey hair and wrinkles.

So anyway, as an update because I don't write in this much anymore (because you're a dude and it's weird) I'm going to tell you about my new friends.

They're weird. Which is totally different to my personality, because I am normal. I act normal. First, we have Ali. Ali is awesome, but she has a weird obsession with frogs. I call her Kermy because Kermit is a frog and I think she likes him. I keep telling her I'll help her find her Miss Piggy. She's probably working in Paris with Vogue or something though but it's okay because France is pretty, so I'd totally go there on a piggy hunt.

At the mention of France, my friend Hazz has just moved here from France she is pretty bizarre. We like to sit on the field at lunch and she likes to sit there eating the grass whilst we eat our real food. The only thing she says during our entire lunch period is "Moo", so I think she thinks she is a cow or something. But cows are cool so I'm fine with that.

We then have Courtney, she's really obsessed with Shawn Mendes and she feels the need to bring him into every conversation ever. In biology the other day, we were learning about the ability for wounds to heal and what needs to happen when they can't heal themselves. The teacher said, "What do hospitals do to wounds that can't heal with help?" Courtney stood up and shouted, "And now that I'm without your kisses I'll be needing STITCHES" We sat there all facepalming ourselves. That's not the worst part. WE HAD TO WAIT FOR HER OUTSIDE DETENTION AFTER SCHOOL.

Despite them being crazy and me being your average almost a teen girl we are very similar. We have a drama project to recreate a music video and of course ya girl chose to recreate the Wannabe music video by the Spice Girls. We don't have anyone to play Mel B so I've casted Elvis to help. He's been recovering since his floorboard accident. My brother is an idiot.

In fact.

MY BROTHER IS MORE OF A LUNATIC IDIOT THAN BUZZ LIGHTYEAR WAS IN THE FIRST TOY STORY FILM!

I'm surprised my brother has never told me his arms are wings and he can fly. It wouldn't surprise me, damn is he stupid.

So anyway. The point of this diary entry is to say that after a VERY (emphasis on very) convincing video attachment video, the St Pancras hotel are letting us go and film on the ICONIC STAIRCASE from the music video! We are definitely going to have the best project and we're going to win and these girls are going to love me forever and they are never going to ditch me to eat with Tallulah and Lindon and they are going to be so impressed with me and they're going to be thankful for them having the best grades in the class and they're going to TREAT ME LIKE THE QUEEN

But wait, not the Queen. She's old.

WHATEVER, I'M ABOUT TO FILM ON THE ICONIC STAIRCASE.

~~~

I fudged up.

I hate my life.

We were having such a good time filming my music video our music video when Elvis saw a dog running through the door. He jumped out of my hand and I accidentally dropped my Ribena carton all over the staircase.

It spilled EVERYWHERE!

I hate being short. Do you know why?

I RUN SLOWER THAN MY FRIENDS

So, as we are running out of the door a guard holds up my hood so high that I'm dangling in the air like I'm a coat on a coat hook. Talk about being rude?!

I had to wait there until my parents arrived and they weren't happy.

I can't believe the rest of the girls ran away.

Screw them and their long legs.

Now I am grounded for a year, I have to use all of my pocket money to hire some stupid cleaner for the carpet.

I just got a text on the group chat saying;

Hazz: Cherry.
Ali: We have been thinking.
Courtney: You're out.
*You are no longer able to text in this message. You have been kicked*

My friends hate me.

Elvis won't even look at me.

Third Midlife crisis activated. 

*Authors noteeee*
All love to Ali, Hazz and Court <3
Boss Ass Bitches