nikki misery : save myself from me

White Knuckles

[Nikki's POV] 

She brought me into this wood type thing, and we sat on some big ass rocks across from each other. "So.. can I ask you a few questions?" I asked her. She scrunched her nose and nodded. "Right so-" She interrupted me by showing me something on her phone. 

Give me your phone really quickly, it said. I was confused but put in my password and gave it to her anyways. She opened my contacts and I couldn't see what else she was doing. "What are you doing?" She gave me back my phone opened on a conversation on my messages with a new contact, named "Riot <3". I took it and looked at her, she was smiling. It was so contagious and it made me smile too. "So, you're gonna text me?" She nodded. Finally some words of her own about her life.

"Sick," I said, thinking of a question to ask. "How old are you?" 

R: 23 

"Can you play any instruments?" 

R: i can play drums, piano, acoustic guitar, and violin 

"You must have a lot of spare time," I joked and chuckled. She nodded and giggled. 

R: a looot of spare time

I chuckled again. ".. Do you like Mamma Mia?" She looked at me with a funny look, confused, but in an amused way. "I'm a motherfucking diva, honey." I replied. She laughed. 

R: fucking love mamma mia

"We're gonna get on just fine," I declared. She was smiling. "Great. Now.. do you mind if I ask a few personal questions?" She started typing.

R: ask away, but I won't answer it if it makes me uncomfortable or i just don't want to answer

"No problem, do you believe any theories about your dad?" She was typing for a few minutes to say the least.

R: now that, my friend, I have pondered for years, for a short period i did believe my mother murdered him, but i just can't see it, yes, she might have, she hasn't ever talked about it to me, or let me talk about it when i did speak. and with that, he had way too much heroine in his system to even be able to pull the trigger. all the "evidence" is just plain odd, my father though, he did have a rough life, and months before he died he attempted to overdose in rome, but my mother saved him that time. see, another reason pointing out, why she wouldn't is, that she figured out she was pregnant with me earlier that day and planned to tell him when she got home, but he was dead by the time she got there. i'm not entirely sure at this point being honest.

"Woah.." Was all I could say. "I didn't expect such a.. a big worded and opinionated answer." She shrugged.

R: I have my opinions and I stick by them. 

"And I fuckin' love it." She went red and she hung her head, with a small smile on her face, looking uncontainable. That was adorable.

R: can you just ask another question please?

I nodded. "I am a curious boy."

R: curious george gone wrong

I laughed. "It's gone right! Better even!" I exclaimed, being dramatic as always, she was laughing. "Righty-o, next question, ooh I'm like an interviewer now! Bryanstars, who?!" Oh I'm such a joker, Jared Leto, I'm coming for you!! I love her laugh- Nikki, what?- just go with it motherfucker. "What bands do you not like, dislike, and or hate on this tour? And do you have history with them or hate them because of rumors, their personalities or just their music, etc.?"

She smirked evilly and seemed happy about answering that. I really want to get to know her good side, the positive things, what she dreams for the future, and eventually I want to get to know her bad side, the negative things, her past.

R: this might be a long message, enter shikari, because their music is absolute bullshit, it's HORRIBLE! i'm trying not to be mean, is it working? blood on the dance floor, i'm GOING to be mean about this, because they fucking deserve it, dahvie, pedophile, sex offender, asshole, just FuCKinG EwWWwWww, and the other member/s  literally the god damned same, and the music, it's disgusting. a 33 year-old man singing about splitting someone's ass in two. WHAT THE FUCK? get scared. don't get me wrong, I LOVE THEIR MUSIC, but nick was way better in the band, joel's giving me some odd vibes, like i would never go up and fucking talk to him, i wouldn't know if he's sane because he gives no interviews. his lyrics may mean something to mean but he gives me creepy vibes. the music may be beautiful, but the person behind it might not be and might have different intentions rather than beauty. if i think of anything else, i'll text you :)

"Wow.." I gasped. 

R: what?

"It's just.. you never speak, yet, you have so much to say,"

R: silence can be louder than a shout, nikki.

"That's what I mean! What you say, has so much meaning and beauty in the words.. yet you don't speak!"

R: i have my reasons.

"What are those reaso-" I was cut off by somebody walking up to us. It was Ashley. "You guys okay? They're all wondering where you two are." "Well, we're here." I replied, annoyance obvious in my tone. 

[Ashley's POV]

"Well, we're here." Nikki said, annoyed. I felt like I had interrupted something. I wanted to go back to August, because it made me uncomfortable and she made me feel nice. 

Did I like girls? Did I like boys? I wasn't sure.

I heard Nikki's phone ding, and he looked down at it. "Fiine," He said. I was confused.

[Riot's POV]

that wasn't very nice nikki, be nicer to ashley she didn't do anything. I texted Nikki. "Fiine," He said. I raised an eyebrow. "Sorry, Ashley." He said defeatedly. Ash looked so confused, but nodded. "It's fine.." She said, slowly. Nikki showed her the phone. "Thanks, Riot," I nodded. 

"Are you coming back to the bus?" She asked.

Might as well. 

[Nikki's POV]

fuck.

Written: August 5th 2018

Published :  February 19th 2019