nikki misery : save myself from me

Get Your Gunn

This chapter may contain disturbing or triggering content. Please do not read ahead of you don't like that stuff. 

[Nikki's POV] 

I walked onto the bus, she wasnt on the couches. Little bit weird, I checked in her bunk. "Riot?" I called out in a low voice. Got nothing back. 

I looked over at the bathroom, the door was open. I could hear heavy breathing. I hesitated and walked over slowly. I looked in and saw her. I saw Riot laying on the ground, pills on the floor beside her, and blood seeping through her wrists. "OH MY FUCKING GOD RIOT!" I said and saw her eyes close. 

SHIT! 

I kneeled down beside her and checked the pulse on her neck. 

still breathing.. 

Okay, okay. Calm down. you can do this Nikki. 

I picked up her phone, almost dropping it because I was shaking. 

I dialed Stevens number, still panicking and swearing under my breathe, trying to avoid looking away from her. 

He picked up within three rings. 

"Riot? What's going on?" 

"This isn't Riot- N-Nikki- Listen here, dude. I came back- to C-check if she was o-okay- and-and-a-and she's lying in the bathroom, pills around her, b-bleeding,get here soon p-please. I dont know what to do." 

"Wait what okay. please try to calm down. I'm on the way." I could hear shock in his voice, then his voice became more faint,but I heard him say to the others "Guys, we're going to the bus, I'll explain on the way, just fucking come on!" and faintly heard the others reply with okays or what's. then Steven came back to me, as I could hear him walking fast, he told me this: "Okay, Nikki, stay on the phone with me, breathe. we'll get this sorted. was she asleep when you came on the bus?" 

"i-I don't know.. I called her name and tried to find her, went into t-the bathroom and she had her eyes open for a split second." 

"Okay, what pills are around her? is there a bottle?" 

"I haven't checked." 

"Check." 

I nodded, knowing all the well that he couldn't see me. I picked up the bottle and read the label. "Anti-depressants." 

"Shit.. okay, thanks." Then back to the faint talking in the background. I couldn't hear much, I was reading the label on the bottle. 

"Nikki, I'm going to hang up with you and call 911, don't leave her side.." 

"Okay.."

he hung up. 

it took them about ten minutes to get here. 

I was never one to cry, but on this day, that statement was thrown out the window.

When they arrived, an ambulance was there five minutes later. 

Ash tried to comfort me, but I pushed my feelings down, or tried. 

Steven asked me tonnes of questions and I couldn't really answer the questions due to the fact my brain was too busy. I struggled to speak actual words so it was mostly stutters and 'I don't know' 's. 

He understood and hugged me. I hugged him back, and no it wasn't one of those man hugs where you avoid all feelings and actually trying to have regular contact with another man. 

It was a warm hug, for only a moment, I felt she would be alright and wake up and love me back. Then my head started again after he let go. 

What if she dies? 

It's all my fault. 

I shouldn't have left.

It's all my fault. 

She's gonna die. 

It's all because of me. 

Written: 12th of January 

Published: 7th of April

sorry for the short chapter, I've decided to leave it like that as it adds more drama. :)