Broken

Titanic

When he answered the door, Eren seemed genuinely surprised to see me. "Armin," he breathed, staring at me like I had just fallen through the ceiling. "What're you doing here?"

"We need to talk." I said a bit more forcefully than I intended. But Eren didn't flinch. "Uh, yeah, sure, come on in."

He stood aside and as soon as I was inside and the door was shut behind me, my composure fell apart. "Eren, I'm sorry. About what happened."

Emerald eyes fixed on me as he shifted. I could tell he was trying to decide what to say. "No, it's . . . it's fine."

"No, Eren, it's really not fine." I said, tucking my hair behind my ear. I just needed to breathe and do what Mikasa told me. Apologize and tell him exactly what I told her. "I don't know what I was doing. I just . . . god, I'm so stupid. Look, Eren, I have no idea what that was, and I didn't mean to do that to you, and I'm sorry I've been ignoring you, I just freaked out and I —"

"Armin, Armin, calm down," he said and the giggle in his voice made me feel a bit better. He wrapped his arms around me and I sank into him, breathing in his scent and ignoring the flutter in my chest. No. Mikasa told me to feel and not shut it down. "Breathe for a second, okay? I'm not mad at you."

I pulled out of the embrace, noticing the emptiness I felt at the loss of contact. "You're not?"

"No." he laughed. "Why would I be?"

I bit my lip. I honestly didn't know why he would be mad. I shrugged. "I dunno."

I saw him smile and averted my gaze, feeling a familiar heat flood my cheeks. "Armin, I could never be upset with you. Especially not over something like this. You mean the world to me, and no matter what happens, I still want us to be friends."

So we were on the same page. That was good. But at the same time, I felt a strange pain in my chest and I realized I had felt it before. "I never want to lose you."

I gave a soft smile, my fingers tingling as Eren took them gently in his own. "I never want to lose you, either." I said and for a moment it was like nothing had happened. We were kids, free-falling through life and going wherever it took us. We were living in the moment — for the moment — needing nothing but each other to keep us sane. To keep us alive. I forgot about everything. All my problems disappeared as if they were illusions and had never really been there at all. Jean, the things Mikasa said, everything fell away and it was just me, Eren, and the undeniable twist of my heart.

~~~

After I had apologized, things more or less went back to normal. Jean was still a little wary of me going to Eren's, but he was no less lenient with me. I was somewhat surprised. I guess I supposed after what had happened he wouldn't let me go out as much, but thankfully that wasn't the case. He was still in the strange mood of 'go out today don't come back until whatever time'. It was very much appreciated. But still weird. Though I didn't think about it much. I had tried to stop doing that.

It was on one of those days that Jean told me to get out of the house that I decided to pay Eren another visit. I had tried to follow Mikasa's advice as much as I could, so when he smiled at me and my heart flipped in my chest, I didn't ignore it. "Back again, are we?"

"You know I can't resist the Jaeger charm."

"Well prepare yourself because you're in for an absolute overdose of the Jaeger charm."

"Am I?"

"You better believe it."

I smiled and stepped inside trying not to focus on how close we were. "Mikasa not here?" I asked, noticing the lack of my newfound life coach. "No, she's with that girl again."