Signs of the Past

Move in Day - After Summer

The first time I ever saw my father cry, was only three months ago, it was my senior prom night. My dad was crouched over in a chair facing me. I guess he thought I was already sleeping. But I couldn't sleep, because every time I closed my eyes I kept picturing Charlie's angry face glaring back at me. 

I hadn't seen my injuries yet. The morning after I saw my father cry, I would look in the mirror and see the bruises on my chest and the messy gash on my forehead that would heal but leave a scar. I told the doctors and police officers the cut was most likely from slamming my head on the window and the bruises and fractured rib were explained away easily by the airbag. What I didn't tell them was that some of the bruises and the gash on my forehead were given to me hours before the car crash. 

That night, my dad's soft sobs were muffled by his hand which he held over his mouth. I had never seen him look so distraught before. It was the first time I saw his controlled facade crumble. He always maintained an appearance of seeming in control of every situation. I guess this was the first he was not. 

Listening to him sound so broken was what made my decision to lie. A car crash was accidental, there was no one really at fault, at least in this case. The car crash happened just once, and not several times over many months.. which was the reality of my injuries. I decided to never tell my father the truth about Charlie and what he was doing to me. What I didn't know was that a few months later, the truth would come out anyway.

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Today is the third time that my dad has ever cried in front of me. Today is the day, that I'm moving into college.

We've just finished bringing in the last of my boxes for my new dorm room. The room is empty other than my dad and Colleen. They are both peering out the window to my modest view of the woods surrounding my school. Colleen is doing it out of boredom  but I know my dad is doing it to shield his tears.

He's been keeping a closer watch on me ever since the car accident. He implemented a new curfew and texts me often to know my location. But now he has no choice but to set me free. 

"Dad.. I'm gonna be fine and you'll have Colleen and Vivian." I finally say. Vivian is his new wife. They only married six months ago. She's an older woman that was so consumed with her career that she never had time for a family. Now she has Colleen and my dad. Colleen adores her. They act more like best friends rather than mother and daughter. Now Colleen has someone to take her back to school shopping and Vivian has someone to take shopping. Vivian and my family are a perfect match, as far as matches go.

My dad turns around slowly, he has a small forced smile on his face. "I know you will be, Mar. I trust you. You're going to do so many great things here."

He wraps his arms around both me and Colleen to pull us into a bear hug. "My girls." he mutters into our hair and then he releases us.

Colleen laughs before jokingly rolling her eyes. "God, you'd think Margot was going to college in Alaska and not just a few hours west."

My dad doesn't respond. He just looks around the room, his feet still planted in place. 

"Dad, come on. Let's get going. Viv's waiting." Colleen tucks in the corner where my sheet has fallen out of place on my mattress.

Colleen has always been the one to never take things too seriously. Probably because as the baby of the family she's been protected from anything traumatic, but she has to finish her last two years of high school as an only child. I hope she doesn't change.

"Alright, alright. I love you guys. I'll see you soon." I say as they cross the room to leave.

When they finally turn the corner down the hallway I begin to close the door, but before I get the chance Colleen races back up to me, her long blonde hair swinging behind her.

As she catches her breath, she places a hand on my stomach and looks up at me. "I'm here for you, always. Call me when you need help."

I gasp. I start to say something, I'm not sure what. The shock of what she's communicating has me speechless.

"I love you, Mar. Good luck." Colleen whispers before turning around and running back down the hall to catch up with my unsuspecting father.

Somehow, my sister has found out my secret. The thing that has kept me awake at night for weeks. That's been my constant focus all day, every day. She knows my only and biggest secret.

Colleen knows I'm pregnant.