Dark Poems

You Decide

Sometimes you don't know what to feel.

So you decide not to feel at all.

When times get tough and you feel numb.

You decide you just want to feel something.

It's too late.

You feel so much that you can't feel anything at all.

So you decide to resort to other things.

Self harm, drugs, alcohol, anything.

Just so you can feel something.

You decide to do it again. And again. And again.

Then it becomes an addiction.

You need  it. You need it so you can feel.

You crave the feel of it. The pain. And the calm that follows.

Nothing matters anymore.

You don't care anymore.

You decide to get rid of your stuff because what's the point in having things you don't care about?

You lose interest in everything you used to like to do.

So you decide not to do any of it anymore.

You think you're such a burden on your friends.

They don't need your problems too. 

You're just bringing them down with you.

You decide to let them all go.

They don't need you.

They'll move on.

Everyday goes by like a blur.

Time goes to fast when you just want everything to slow down.

To stop.

So you decide to make your time stop.

You finish writing that note.

You grab that blade, those pills, those bottles, one last time.

It's all over.

Just. Like. That.

You decide.