Dark Poems

"Family"

Reading all these poems makes me have a heavy heart
And feel incredibly lonely like I did right at the start
It reminds me I have nothing but a few essentials in a room
In a room that isn't mine, that my mother calls a tomb
Sometimes I feel tiny, like I'm nothing much at all
And sometimes I feel too big, too loud, and too tall
I never feel like I fit right in, like some edges always stick out
I start to think it wasn't meant to be as my head fills with more doubt
I don't understand why sometimes I think I fit in
When I'm told how to feel and I'm broken within
These bones are so heavy and I'm always so tired
But a look in my head, you'll see my minds wired
They say I can't understand anxiety or depression
They don't even notice my sudden recession
To them I'll always be some what of a tool
But I wanted a family so I guess I'm the fool
I know things aren't always as bad as they seem
But inside my head, my thoughts always scream:
"You're worthless, unwanted, stupid, and cruel.
Disappointing, replaceable, how'd you even pass school? You're a failure, too emotional, short tempered, and ugly too. You think they love you? What makes you think that they do?"
I'm falling apart, being pulled at the seams
The only time I'm okay is when I'm lost in a dream
I remember those life lines that I once talked about
"Please don't leave me" is what I wanted to shout
Now some have withered and many have changed
Some even seem like they were exchanged
The few I still need are there, attached to my wrists so I can't go too far
Ready to pull me back and put me back in the car
How I wish I could leave with those life lines of mine
So maybe we can see how the sun really shines