What It Seems | Wattys 2023

Chapter 39

Mornings sucked, especially when it came down to waking up at 5:30 in the morning for school. Today was the first day of the second semester and I was ready for spring break to begin.

"Ugh, shoot me in the head, please."

Jo groaned as well as we walked down the hallway to our first class. I haven't talked to Baylor all morning; he possibly overslept. Unlocking the lock with the correct combination, I grabbed the correct books for the first three classes.

"Literally, I just want to cry," Jo whined. By walking into the classroom, I mentally cried at the sight of Derek. I forgot he was in this class, as well as Nicole. I felt Derek eye me down as I sat in the seat ahead of him.

"How was your break?" he whispered in my ear.

"Good."

Just before he responded, Nicole breezed beside me and I heard a total make out session carrying on over my shoulder. "I loved my break," Nicole spoke in a squeaky voice.

"Me, too," Derek said huskily.

My phone vibrated in my back pocket.

Jo: Ew. Just plain out ew.

Me: IKR. He asked how my break was.

Jo: Wow... you shoulda told him it would've been better if you would've beaten his ass over break ;))

Before Mr. Tress walked into the room and the entire first period class was already seated, Nicole called from the other side of the room, catching others attention. The room got quiet.

"Tell Baylor to give me a call, he isn't answering my phone calls or text messages," she smirked. God. I just wanted to strangle her. I shook my head in shame.

"Ignore her, Adalynne," Jo demanded. Derek patted my upper back. I turned my head just a bit to see his expression lighten up in amusement. To think that he was my "friend," yeah, right. Just something rolled into my brain: if he were my "friend" before I lost my memory, why does Aiden and Baylor both dislike him as much as I do? Why did Baylor say that he was one of my closest friends along with Lindsay and himself? Lindsay and Baylor have both came back into my life as if nothing ever happened, but Derek was the outcast.

DEREK

The day carried on as short as ever. I'm just ready to get out of this damn place.

But finally when weight room let out, it was lunchtime. Good thing; I was starving.

I prepped through the cafeteria and walked into line two for a sandwich and a Lipton iced tea; it was my old best friend's favorite. I remember whenever she came over to my house and stayed over the entire day. When lunch rolled around and we were hungry, I made the both of us ham sandwiches with pepper sprinkled on top of the ham. She hated mayonnaise. I hated mustard.

Every time I walk through this line, it reminded me of her: the girl that I fell in love with at the age of fifteen while she was thirteen. The way she always complimented my sandwich that I made her every single day.

I retrieved a ham sandwich with 'mayo' written on the ziplock bag. The iced Lipton tea that I grabbed out of the cooler was ice cold, just how I liked it.

I paid for my lunch and sat beside Melody. Nicole and I were off and on, like we were in a relationship. I've never been serious, and probably never will be serious about anyone.

As Melody clung onto my arm, I looked at Adalynne. Adalynne was laughing at something that Baylor had said. Baylor was looking at her as if she was his world. I wanted to throw my middle finger up at them. Especially Baylor, the one who was once my good friend along with Aiden and Lindsay. He was the one who got her. He knew how I felt about her, yet he had the same feelings. Except he and Adalynne weren't as close as Adalynne and me. We were inseparable.

Aiden, Lindsay, Baylor, Adalynne, and my mothers were very close. They all worked together, and by the time they all had us, we were the best of friends.

I hated Baylor. I hated how he stole all of the attention from Adalynne. The only reason that I mess with Adalynne was to gain attention. No matter how much she hated me, I loved the attention I once had again.

"Derek, did you hear what I said?" Melody screeched in my ear. I hadn't payed any attention to her although her voice was ringing in the background as I stared at the lovey-dovey couple across the cafeteria.

"Huh?"

She huffed, "Forget it."

Adalynne and I locked eye connection and she paused from her smile. It fell, and the pang in my chest shot me. I used to make her smile and laugh like Baylor does. She looked away quickly and then Baylor stared at me evilly.

I hated him.

I looked away and began eating my meal. Melody kept kissing me and feeling on my biceps, telling me that weight room is paying off well. She called me sexy a few times. While she did, I kept staring at Adalynne.

Has anyone even told her what went on between us? We were never formed into a relationship, but we were both curious about plenty of things.

We stole each other's feelings for one another. We both knew that we liked one another. We stole each other's first kiss. We stole each other's virginities. Did she even know? Or was everybody holding back everything that ever happened between the two of us? Aiden nor Baylor nor Lindsay told her what happened. They were pissed at me and hated my guts. They wanted her to start over, is what they told me. And that's when I walked out because I knew nothing would ever be the same. Nothing.

The Adalynne that I knew would never be herself again. She had a different personality. But I still loved her, which was it. I still loved every ounce of her.

She just has this addictive personality that makes you want to stay just a bit longer to experience more of her.

I walked out on Aiden, Baylor, and Lindsay because they told me to forget what happened with Adalynne. They knew I loved her. Baylor, Aiden, and Lindsay knew that we were each other's first love. I have pictures to prove it. Everyone called it puppy love, but the hell with that. What we had was real.

And there was another part that I hated about her. She forgot and treated me like shit. Treated me terrible. She wasn't going to wake up in that hospital bed, I thought negative after a year passed by. I lost faith in her. I lost hope. I hated her. I hated that she would forget about me. And when she did wake up, that's the day that I told myself to forget about her because she'd never remember me anyway. Instead of Jo sitting right beside her, it should be me. Instead of Baylor with his arm wrapped around her, that should be me.

But it's not.

And I love Adalynne; it would've been a pleasure to win her feelings back towards me so we could go back to how things were. But I waited two years, and she slipped right through my fingers and fell for someone else. I wanted to win her back over and then ruin her as she ruined me. I wanted to win her over and steal her (she thought she still had her virginity) virginity, and just leave her. Because that's what she had done: ruined me. But I couldn't just do that if I won her over; I'd do anything to keep her in my life.

I hated myself. I hated the world. I hated Baylor. I hated Aiden. I hated Lindsay. I hated the girls I screwed. I hated Adalynne.

But I loved Adalynne.

Man, screw this shit. I slammed my tray on the floor, causing the hard plastic tray to break into pieces and the whole cafeteria was quiet. I stormed out of the lunchroom and walked outside to my Volvo. When I saw Nicole round the corner, I caught up with her.