What It Seems | Wattys 2023

Chapter 53

The day out was breezy, a bit chilly at that. It was around five in the evening, and the sidewalk that I was walking on was cracked. There's graves in this place that holds headstones that reads the person's death date that was set back in the early 1800s.

I was walking a little bit behind my brother. He directly knew the exact place where my parents were buried at. He comes here quite often, mainly when he's just getting off of work. I, on the other hand, have only been here once or twice. I could never really manage the thought of knowing that both of my parents were no longer alive.

"Are you nervous?" Aiden asks suddenly as we're turning into the gates of the grave yard.

"Why would I be nervous?" I respond.

"I figured you would be, you don't really like coming here," he whispered, as though he'd disturb the resting's peace.

"Do you miss them, Aiden?"

We stopped at a huge headstone that shared two names: Lynne and Hayden Claire. There were two slabs and it was hard to believe that my own parents are resting right below me.

He got down on his knees and he placed his hands on his thighs.

"Every hour of the day," he answered.

The wind blown heavily, and a little bit of sunlight shown through the clouds.

"You feel that?" Aiden wondered with a soft smile on his lips.

"Mom and Dad are here," I grinned for the first time in a few days. I sat right beside Aiden on the grass. He threw his arm around my shoulders and he pulled me in for a hug.

The wind had blown again. I felt chill bumps rise vertically up and down my skin. I felt alive again, just by the touch of my parents' souls being felt against my skin. For the last month, I felt numb inside. I wasn't happy, and due to all of the crying, I made myself sick. I haven't worn makeup of any kind since the first day I was back at school, and God knows how terrible I look now that I've broken out with acne. I haven't done anything to my hair and my style has changed. I just haven't had the feeling to do anything except eat and shower and hang out with my brother and Jo, and sometimes Lindsay.

But today is the day that I finally felt something approach inside of me. It was warmth from my parents' acknowledgment. Even though it's a sad story, it's still a happy moment for both my brother and me. My brother has always told me that my parents are with me everywhere I go, and now that I'm here, I finally understand what he's speaking of.

They're always with me. Although I haven't seen them physically in so long, or even remember their voices, I do know they're with me spiritually.

I just wish I could have my mom hold me when I'm crying. Kissing my forehead and asking me how my day went at school. And my dad - calling me his little girl and aggravating me early in the morning when I'm just waking up. Or him threatening my boyfriend about my curfew or telling him that his life will end if he touches me.

I want that.

"Most of the times I just sit here and just let my own thoughts consume me," Aiden lowly spoke. He knew the exact thing I felt.

Maybe I should start coming here very often like Aiden does. My life would be so much easier now that I know my parents are always with me.

***

"What do you mean he doesn't care?" he queried.

"Exactly what I said."

He rolled his eyes. "Baylor does care, everyone can tell that. He was probably just mixing his emotions up. I do that all the time with Jo."