KHADIJA

THE MEETING

Khadija had notified me Of her arrival and i was headed her way, I have had naughty thought about her, how big are her boobs and how curvy is she. but asI saw her up close her Hijabi compelled me to think otherwise, gazing at the perfect muslimah ave always dreamt about standing right in front of me smiling, Khadija she was looking So halal. she had eyebrows that could almost touch each other,and two pair of eyes that put the stars to shame. her voice so gentle she said hello Zahradeen you look more handsome in person than in our video calls.
I was feeling fly, I teased her also and I showed her around the school, we ate at a joint in my School and when it was Time for prayers her phone rang the ikamat and we prayed and hooked up again. We were together for basically the Whole day I didn't want it to come to an End neither did she. we felt safe in each others company,we was both happy.
She had To leave we Didn't want it. we wished we could stay together forever but that wasn't reality. I walked her To the school gate and onto the road side to get a cab we looked at each other without saying a word, all we could do was smile and as she stopped a cab, she came close and hugged me and said thanks for today, I could feel the warmth of her body against mine as we hugged for quite a while, I waited until the car she got into drove outta my sight then I went back to school, why was I so happy when she was around and miserable when She left, Why Will I smile so hard anytime I remember her Face, i couldn't possibly be falling in love with her could I, I mean  i love Kameela right?  But for the first time in my life I couldn't answer that question Kameela's and my worst fears have come to reality I have falling in love with Khadija.  Oh what do I do.
I couldn't sleep at all I was pondering the way out of this mess, so deep in thought, Khadija called she couldn't sleep she said ,she was thinking about me hope she didn't wake me up she added I said actually yeah I was sleeping when u called I couldn't let her Know I was thinking about her too. So she apologize and hung up. Was Khadija in love With me too, these questions stayed with me until the morning.
Kameela and I were still together but things changed from me mostly, I called Her less she was clearly hurt By this which lead to quarrels and later apologies from her, I could tell she was doing everything she could not lose me to Khadija even if she knew she was Fighting a lost battle. She often Cried and Complained to my mom. My sister always told me. I felt bad about This but what could I possibly do, my Hearts screams for Khadija now.
      Kameela reached breaking point one day unable to take my attitude anymore she visited Me at my school and demanded I tell her what's going on. Couldn't bear to see. Her like this, didn't know what to say, she was crying profusely I had to tell her The truth, Kameela I love Khadija now am sorry  but I don't Have feeling for you anymore. These Words were like Dagger to her heart as she fell on her Knees, begging me not to do this I will change she Said, I won't intrude in your personal life am sorry forgive me for all I have done but please don't do This to me, as I watched her Cry I cried too for those words I said to her hurt me too. But that was the truth I love Khadija and I love Kameela no more. as she saw Her efforts to reason with me was futile she got Up looked Me in the eyes and quietly walked away, I couldn't look at her I was filled with shame, but as I lifted my Head my Eyes filled with tears I looked at her as she walked away, I hated myself I had become a monster, I had shattered a girls heart into a million pieces, I had broken my. Promise of never leaving Her. How did tins get so bad a question I had no answers to.
I told Khadija of what happen and why I did it, I love you Khadija and she responded immediately I love you too but At what cost, We had destroyed someone's life in that regard, Khadija cried that night but everything was OK because we loved each other.