FREAK [Min Yoongi]

Chapter 12 "Don't leave me, please"

~~ But I know someday I'll make it out of here. Even if it takes all night or a hundred years. Need a place to hide, but I can't find one near. Wanna feel alive, outside I can't fight my fear. Isn't it lovely, all alone. Heart made of glass, my mind of stone. Tear me to pieces, skin to bone. Hello, welcome home. ~~

You arrived a few minutes ago but both of you are still sitting in the car. There's one thing you wanted to say once again. You bit your cheek, giving him a quick glance.

"I'm sorry" you murmured feeling more guilty and filthy. Even if he's not fair too. Even if he annoys you. Even if you're done with him. Yoongi proved many times that he's your new friend. You don't want to disappoint him anymore. You don't want to make him regret that he's met you in his life. You're filled with remorse of your such behavior towards him. 

You always were scared of people. You're scared of being hurt by them like many times before. It's your way to protect yourself - being cold and careful. Most of them gave up meeting your personality and barriers which you built around you. They didn't want to bother themselves to be nice. They just left you alone. Hurt and scammed. This time you're scared of being hurt again. You couldn't trust anyone. Especially trust and believe yourself. You're trapped among your doubts. Maybe it is hilarious but it is you. You want to change your point so bad but something blocks you. Memories are still playing on loop in your head, opening your old healed scars. 

"Why are you like this? Why don't you want to get help?" he asked you unexpectedly with blankness in his eyes. You gulped, not knowing what to say. How to explain him yourself. You lowered your head, focusing your look on your intertwined fingers.

"I'm just scared" you whispered feeling tears on your cheeks. 

"Why?"
"I'm sorry. It's more complicated"
"Give me a chance" you can feel his gaze which is piercing your head.
"Yoongi i don't like talking about it. It always hurts." he sighed loudly, giving up.
"Ok. We should get out, it's late" you nodded getting out of his car. 

A few moments later you're in front of your door. You wanted to enter but something niggled you. You're looking at him heading to his apartment. You saw his hand on the handle to open the door. 
"Hey, Yoongi. Maybe you want to watch a movie with me?" he immediately turned around meeting your look. He frowned tilting his head.
"What?" he asked still confused and you smiled at him weakly.

"It's not that late and we could make our own party here" you giggled, raising your brows. "I'll let you choose a movie. Please, maybe this time i won't hit anyone." this time he chuckled at your words, shaking his head. 
"Are you bipolar? I've never met anyone who changes his mind that quickly." you pouted crossing your arms on the chest. 

"I feel touched and hurt" you acted like his words hit you so much. He smiled at you and you could see million sparkles in his eyes.

He has beautiful eyes

"Ok. I hope you have some snacks" you smiled widely, nodding quickly. You opened the door and both of us entered your apartment. 
"Go to the living room and choose a movie. I'll bring snacks for us" you shouted reaching your kitchen. Luckily you got some groceries and when you opened the cupboard your eyes met a few packs of crisps and popcorn. Smile appeared on your face and  you came back to him with a bowl of popcorn and two bottles of cola. 

"What do you want to watch?" he asked you with a remote control in his hand. You shrugged your shoulders putting the bowl on the table and giving him his bottle of cola.

"I don't know. It might be some horror movie if you want." You sat down next to him on the couch , taking a sip.
"Do you like horror movies?" he glanced at you raising his eyebrows. You nodded amused by his reaction.
"Yeah"

"Why i'm not surprised." he scoffed, putting handful of popcorn straight into his mouth.
"I hope you will be able to sleep tonight. Kids are afraid of horror movies." you snapped back sticking out your tounge at him. He looked at you in amusement.

"What are you? 5?" he laughed shaking his head. His deep-throaty laugh made you a shiver for unknown reason. 
"Let's start watching" you replied quickly, focusing on the TV.
"Sure but don't be terrified too fast." he smirked at you and you nudge him. 

"Are you nuts? It's only a movie." you rolled your eyes. A few moments later you two were watching. You don't know this movie and you need to add that you're a little scared. You covered yourself with a blanket up to your neck. 

"Aren't you scared, princess?" you heard Yoongi's voice so close to your ear that you're able to feel his breath on your cheek. 
"I'm not" you got a shiver, seeing a brutal scenes on the screen. You wanted to turn TV off and try to fall asleep but you're not sure that you'll be able to fall asleep tonight.
"So why are you trembling?" his amused voice woke you up from your thoughts. 

Because this shit is the most terrified movie i've ever watched you jerk

"What are you talking about?" You turned your face in his direction, realizing that you two are so close. Too close. You looked at him meeting his gaze which was concentrated on your lips. You have no clue what to do - stay or run away.

"Jimin's lucky" he whispered. His voice once again made you a shiver running down your spine. "Maybe if i'd stopped him I wouldn't have thought too much about your lips." He immediately stood up, leaving you in shock. You gasped, repeating his words in your head. 

What's just happened?

You're confused and lost. You don't know what his behavior meant. You let out a breath and touched your lips thinking about your kiss and scene of Yoongi with Sohye. You're still wondering why did he act like that. 

Maybe he cares about me?

You shook your head telling yourself off. Yoongi and caring about you? Nonsense. It's ridiculous that he could want to be with you. Whilst moving to Korea you've never expected that you could meet someone here. You're a foreigner. You're different. You're odd. That's the truth and all the more you're shocked that they weren't scared of you. It's funny that we're different outside but inside we have the same skeleton. 

You looked at your reflection in the mirror. Many things you wanted to change. Many parts make you cry. Many imperfections you wanted to hide. Why? This question you heard in the back of your head everyday. Why do you care so much? Why aren't you happy? Why can't you accept yourself? Then you thought about your family. Those thoughts always make you sad and low. Why don't they accept you? You aren't perfect. You aren't the most intelligent. You aren't the most beautiful. You aren't the best but you try to be the best for them. You don't want to disappoint them anymore. You felt alone tear running down your cheek. 

"I'm sorry that i'm not better version of myself." you whispered still looking at the reflection. 

~~ Release your curse. 'Cause I know my worth. Those wounds you made. Are gone you ain't seen nothing yet. Your love wore thin. And I'd never win. You want the best. So sorry that's clearly not me. This is all I can be ~~ 

[A/N]

if you read the last part of this chapter during listening to "when the part's over" by billie I swear you'll cry your ass off

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