Imperfections

(28)

CARL'S POV
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Guilt, shame, fear. That was all I could feel or think about. I was guilty because this was all my fault. If I had just stayed home at The Sanctuary that night, my dad would still think I was dead, and I doubt any of this would have happened.

I was ashamed for the same reasons.

I was scared, because I didn't want anyone on my dad's side to die, and I didn't want anyone on Negan's side to die. But one or the other, death was inevitable at this point.

Negan and I were behind a car with some other Savoir, desperately trying to defend ourselves.

I was on the edge of having a panic attack that whole time. I could barley think straight.

The Hilltop came in, and Maggie was fine.

"That widow is alive! Guns a blazin!" Negan exclaimed when he saw her marching in with her people behind her.

Next the Kingdom got involved. Even my dad seemed surprised to see them.

The thing about the people from the kingdom that left me completely shell shocked, was the fact that they had a tiger, who had already eaten one of our people.

Everything was a blur, all the gunshots and screams were enough to drive me to the point of insanity.

Next thing I can vividly remember was coming face to face with my dad and some of his people, some how Negan and I had gotten seaprated.

"Take him! In goin after Negan." My dad ordered before running off.

"No." I said sternly. I went to grab my gun but as soon as it was out of it's holster, it was smacked out of my hands and I was being pulled backwards.

"No! Get the fuck off of me!" I yelled.

I then did the only other thing I could think of doing.

"NEGAN!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, I then felt the person's hands go over my mouth.

"I'm sorry Carl, it's gotta be done." Daryl's voice whispered in my ear.

I fought the whole way but he eventually got me into a small car. I was a mess.

I was pissed off, infuriated even.

They were gonna kill Negan. I couldn't handle it if they killed Negan.

"Carl. Negan is a killer. 'm sorry I jus don't understand how ya could wanna be with him." Daryl said. I didn't respond, only tried to drown the sound of the guns out in my head.

---

Hours had passed. The Saviors were gone, and Negan was possibly dead.

I was in my dad's house going from pacing around the living room to sitting on the couch sobbing in a matter of seconds.

Finally someone walked in.

It was Dad, Daryl, and Maggie.

I merely glanced at them before continuing to pace.

"Carl, will you calm down." Dad said more than asked.

That's when it snapped. I couldn't take it anymore.

"CALM DOWN!? YOU EXPECT ME TO CALM DOWN WHEN YOU TORE ME AWAY FROM THE PERSON WHO I LOVE, AND THEN POSSIBLY KILL HIM! NO I CANT CALM THE FUCK DOWN!" I yelled. I had never yelled at my dad like that, not since he was blacked out on that couch in the abondoned house.

Dad didn't have anything to say.

"How would you feel if the Saviors took Daryl!?" I added.

Dad looked at his feet.

"And dont you dare tell me it's not the same thing." I all but growled before storming up the stairs.