The Book at the Top of the Closet

Chapter Thirty-Nine

I've been home for a week and a half, and I already can't wait for school to start back up. Yesterday I had a doctor's appointment to talk about getting on anxiety medication, and I'm glad I went. Even though I hated describing all my symptoms, it wasn't as scary as I expected, and I'm glad Veronica convinced me to go.

Veronica.

We've talked a little since the semester ended, and I still haven't told her how I feel. It just doesn't seem like a conversation I want to have over text. The suspense is killing me, though. I'm ready to have everything sorted out, to be back at school and taking the right meds and hopefully, maybe kissing Veronica.

On top of wondering what will happen with Veronica, I still need to check my final grades for the semester. The internet at my parents' house isn't great, and I haven't had it in me to sit and wait twenty minutes for the page to load and tell me if I passed my classes or not.

I'm tempted to do some kind of calming spell before I check my grades. I'm glad I'm getting my life together and getting help for my anxiety, but I still love magic. Even if it can't fix everything, it helped make me brave enough to do what I needed to in order to take care of myself. That thought, of how far I've come this semester, bolsters my courage.

Eventually, I work up the nerve to just bite the bullet and look up my grades. Somehow, despite being distracted literally the entire time, I've managed to pass everything. In fact, I've got B's in most of my classes. It might not stack up to the grades I got in high school, but it's much better than I expected after how much I struggled to keep up. Relieved and even more excited for next semester, I pull out the journal to read the last entry Aria wrote. I know now that she left school to follow her dreams, and that everything that happened in the journal was just backstory for whatever life she's living now.

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A Spell for Good Luck in a New Venture

Materials:

-one green ribbon

-one green candle

-seven almonds

-paper

-green pen

Directions:

In green ink, write down on a piece of paper the best possible future you can imagine for yourself and the goal you are trying to achieve.

Fold the paper in half, meditating on your intent. Visualize the outcome you are hoping for.

Light the green candle.

For ten minutes, focus only on the goal in your mind. Think of the steps you will take to reach your goal, and how you will feel if all goes as planned. Hold that feeling in your heart.

Eat the almonds slowly, savoring the moment you are in now, knowing that no matter where your life takes you, you can be happy in this instant. Think again of what it will feel like to achieve your goals, and carry that feeling with you as you go forward.

Tie the ribbon around your wrist as a reminder to grow toward the warmth and light of your future.

Put the folded paper somewhere safe, so that you can take it out when you need to be reminded of what you are working toward.

Blow out the candle.

Believe in magic.

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