A Lesson Learned

Chapter 15 - Ill Fate

"That movie was so wack!" Ahmad clowned walking in the movie theatre parking lot with Maxwell.

"You ain't like it? I thought it was kind of funny." Maxwell responded.

"That's because you're corny," Ahmad joked causing Maxwell to nudge him.

"No you just don't have a sense of humor," Maxwell retorted.

"I do, everything is just not always funny." Ahmad explained.

"You right about that," Maxwell said stopping to stare at Ahmad. His heart skipped a beat as Ahmad looked towards him.

"What?" Ahmad asked as Maxwell stared at him from the driver's side of the car. "Do I have some popcorn on my face or something?"

"No, it's nothing." Maxwell said opening the car doors. He got in the car and started it up turning up the radio to try to drain out his thoughts.

"Damn, that's too loud nigga," Ahmad said as he got in and closed the passenger's door.

"Oh sorry," Maxwell said lowering the volume a little bit.

"Max," Ahmad said.

"Yeah?" Maxwell asked looking over.

"Are we ever going to talk about it?" Ahmad asked referring to their high school kiss.

"Talk about...oh that. What's to talk about?" Maxwell inquired oddly scratching his nose as he drove towards the highway.

"Let's start off by asking since when are you on the down low?" Ahmad boldly asked.

"Down low," Maxwell frowned. "I'm not on no fucking down low, I'm not even into dudes."

"Your not into dudes, so what do you call kissing me?" Ahmad frowned citing Maxwell as another brother in denial about his sexuality.

Maxwell pulled over onto the shoulder and stopped the vehicle, and looked Ahmad in the eyes, "I call it being into you Ahmad."

"Huh?" Ahmad asked confused.

"I'm not into dudes, Ahmad. There's no plural to the word I don't like dudes, I like you. I have never messed with a dude or even thought about a dude in sexual type of way besides you." Maxwell clarified.

"Get back on the highway this is unsafe," Ahmad demanded scared at Maxwell's answer more the hazardous location of the vehicle. "So, what does this mean?"

"Ahmad I care about you," Maxwell answered.

"Maxwell it's been years, it was high school you probably were just experimenting. You were a good friend and it probably just got confusing you know finding out I was gay like that, we were drunk combined with our teenaged hormones." Ahmad tried to brush off Max's heavy feelings.

"Ahmad I'm not confused. I knew exactly what I was doing when I kissed you." Maxwell responded. "I have always been into girls, I never wanted to experiment or fuck with a dude until I met you. I liked looking at you long before I saw you with Adam in the locker room. And after leaving Jersey I never could quite get you out my head, it's just something about you."

"Maxwell, why didn't you ever tell me this?" Ahmad responded feeling flattered. Maxwell had been keeping all these feelings for him inside for all these years, and he never knew. But these feelings could have not been expressed at a worst time. While Ahmad was sexually attracted to Maxwell, loved his charming personality, and thoroughly enjoyed his company; his feelings for the man weren't deep. And now he was forced to make the decision that could end their friendship. All because Ahmad was, for intensive purposes, emotionally unavailable and unable to explore any possibility of feeling something deeper with Maxwell. He was still technically with Darius, even if he told him he was going to see other people, in his heart he could never be a cheater.