Extrasensory | Eddsworld Paranormal AU |

Chapter because Im desperate

Hoi there. Sorry but I ain't got no plans for the next chapter. I'm still continuing it though, it's just going to take some time. Just enjoy this little shit and hopefully I'll have a chapter out eventually.

Also keep in mind that this isn't related to the storyline at all.

•••

Matt approached me with a smile on his face. "So Tom"

I looked at him and instantly knew something was up. As a matter of fact, something is always wrong in this house and it's either caused by the douchebag ghost, Edd, or the demon in the basement.

"Uh, what?", I asked, tugging on my hoodie strings.

"I just wanted to let you know that it's Tord's 'birthday'", he said, quoting the word birthday.

"And?"

"He'll be super pissed if you don't bring him a fresh goat he can kill"

"OKAY enough of that topic", I said, getting up before Matt stipped me and lightly pushed me back onto the couch. Goosebumbs scattered my body from his freezing touch.

"Tom, you have to be a part of this"

I glared at him. "Now why would I want to be a part of his little 'birthday' after he tried to fucking kill me? Yeah, thanks for the offer, but I'll have to pass on that one"

Matt growled. "Tom, I swear on my dead body-"

"Literally", I said, interrupting him.

"You have to bring him a goat or something", he said.

I shook my head. "No, he can get his own damn goat"

•••A Few Minutes Later•••

"Do you have any goats or lambs here?", I asked the farmer.

He nodded. "But it'll cost you", he said, pouring some weird gross shit into the pigs' feeding thing.

"Aw come on! I'm doing this to save my life here", I said, the farmer walking past me. He then snapped his fingers and put some fresh tobacco in his mouth.

"OH YOU! Yeah, you were on the news last night. You sure are surprising the town that's for sure. How're you even alive?", he asked, throwing plentiful amounts of hay into the horses' stables.

"Do you have a goat or not?", I asked, aggressively. I crossed my arms as he spit out the tobacco.

"Yeah I do. This is a damn farm if you haven't noticed", he said, walking out of the barn.

I followed before he came with a small lamb. "What do you have to offer?", he asked.

"What do you want?"

"Unless you got some money or good whiskey, I ain't giving you this lamb", he said, patting it's side. It made the noise that lambs do before it squirmed.

"I got bottles of vodka, not whiskey", I said.

"Eh good enough", he said, hamding me the lamb. We traded off and I drove away, hoping Tord, Matt, and Edd weren't trashing the house.

•••Timeskip•••

I opened the door and there was the three, laughing as Tord drew something on the bare wall with a permanent marker.

"What in the fuck are you guys doing?", I asked, setting my keys down.

Tord capped the marker before smiling proudly. Matt was giggling while Edd was looking at the drawing. "Meet Little Communism", Tord said.

I saw the communism symbol, obviously with an 'important body part'.

"Tord, that's a full blown dick you drew on my wall", I stated.

"Beautiful, ain't it?", he said, putting his hands on his hips.

"Gay, ain't it?", I said in the same tone.

He shrugged. "Uh, well. About that..."

"Oh my fucking Jehovah, you're gay", I said, glaring at him.

He then patted his chest with both hands. "Tom, what do I look like to you? A child of God?", he said, sarcastically making a face.

I wanted to slap his head right then and there. "As a matter of fact, you are worse than Lucifer"

He growled. "Okay, you didn't need to bring my father into this"

Matt then clapped his hands. "Who wants cake?"

"I don't eat cake, Matt", Tord said.

Edd coughed from behind his stitched mouth. "I can't eat at all"

I shrugged before I remembered the lamb in the car. "Excuse me for a moment. And don't draw any more communist dicks on my wall", I said, walking to the door.

I opened it and jogged to my car, seeing the lamb practically dying from the heat. It wasn't moving and it was hardly breathing, which really isn't a good sight to see. I umlocked it and took it out of the car, the lamb nearly passing out.

"Aw, I feel bad for you", I said to it, shutting the door. I walked up to the door and opened it, seeing the demon fucker drawing on my walls again. Only seeing a nude, anime woman.

"Tord! Stop drawing subliminal shit on my walls!", I shouted, setting the lamb down. He dropped the marker before looking at the drawing. "And why the hell did you draw that?"

He looked to me. "It's called hentai. And it's art". I shook my head before he saw the lamb. He walked to it and poked it. "Is it even alive? Cause I only work with alive animals"

I looked at the unconscious lamb. "Of course it's alive...", I said nudging I with my foot. It didn't move. "I hope"

Tord then rested his gloved hand on the lamb and sighed. "Yeah, it's alive"

"Good. Now you can fuck off, and run your birthday party or whatever", I said.

He stood up with the lab in his arms. "I wouldn't exactly call it a 'birthday party', more like a celebration of my anniversary of first entering demon hood", he said.

I rolled my eyes and watched as he took out a knife from his pocket. He them put it on the lamb's throat and sliced it. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have business to tend to", he said disappearing down the hall.

I looked at the spot of blood. "YOU'RE CLEANING THIS SHIT UP LATER!", I shouted at him before he left into the basement.

He shut the door and there was silence... Except for when he shouted back at me.

"Go blow off your dad!"

That motherfucker.

••••••

Welp I hope you enjoyed this little prick of a chapter.

Just freaking end me already goddamn