Me, Myself, and I

Oh, Memories

Oh, memories. How you entertain me. Only today I remembered how my sister almost drowned me many years ago. Ah! The good ol' days. Anyway, this is a nice memory about the first time my family went to a restaurant in a foreign country (that didn't speak English).

So.... my family was driving around, looking at houses (we had just moved to Germany), and we got hungry. So, we pulled into a random German restaurant. Yes. Very smart. We sat down at a table, and a waitress came over. She then did a great speech in German. We stared at each other in confusion, then looked at the waitress.
"English?", my dad said. The lady looked at him then said
"Oh......um.....?" She spoke some more in German, using some English and trying to play charades with the other words. Finally, we attempted to order, and she left. After a while she came back with our meals. My mom had gotten the buffet and she didn't know what to do. Did she go back and forth for more or did she even walk over and do it because she couldn't understand the waitress. Eventually, we just decided to grab a bunch of stuff and sit down. While we were at the table many flies started to swarm. There was one gigantic one on the table, and it was right next to me. We named it demon fly. There were spiders in the corners and all of the water in Germany is carbonated or you have to ask for non-carbonated. Which they probably don't have. My mom can't drink carbonated anything or she gets sick, and the carbonated water is horrible. Anyway, when we were done, we had to use the bathroom. When we got to the bathroom, we didn't know which one to use. It was either the one labeled H, or D. I said that we should look for the one with urinals and not go in that one. We did that. When my sister used the sink, she didn't know how to turn on the water, so she pulled on the handle. She claims she didn't pull that hard, but the handle flew off of the sink, and we quickly jammed it back on, laughing. She then washed her hands. After that we left the bathroom. I thought the door was open when we came in, so I propped it open by the hook at the top. My mom noticed it had been closed, so she told Jessica, who was still up, while mum and me were at already back the table, to close it. Yet again, she claimed that she didn't pull it that hard. But still!, the handle flew off the door, the springs flying across the bathroom, with loud clangs. My sister let out a loud shout, and we quickly ran over there and yet again jammed the handle back in the door, and, like any normal person would do, sat back down at the table, hoping no one had noticed, with the springs still spilled across the bathroom floor. The people at the other table looked at us funny after that, but luckily, no waitresses were around to see or hear it. After a little while of waiting for the check, we finally left. Jessica was the first to the door, but she backed away, not trusting herself and saying that an adult should open this door. My mom walked over and.... couldn't open the door. She laughed, and my dad, exasperated, walked over with a sigh, and.... couldn't open it either. He turned the handles and pushed and pushed, until finally he pulled, and it opened, and, with the whole restaurant watching, we left, practically screaming in laughter. We left quickly. The end!

This is the TRUE STORY of when my family went to our first restaurant when we moved to Germany, and couldn't speak German, or understand basically anything. It was hilarious and embarrassing at the same time, and we still joke about it to this day. Bye peops!