One Last Dance

Hiding things

Tori and I rode to the restaurant in complete silence. She was the only one in the whole entire world who knew about my cuts. I started about 2 years ago when my parents got a divorce, I was put in the middle of things. Phone calls, transitions, everything. The stress started to get to me. I needed something to control the pain that I felt, so I started to cut myself. It was the only way. I knew I couldn't cut my wrists because the sports I play requires you to see my arms, so I cut my legs. The shorts that I wear are long enough to cover the cuts that I had. Once I started I couldn't stop. Tori helped me stop for a while. And it helped a lot, always having her there for me when I felt like I needed too. She had been my rock.

But then.. *thoughts*

One day my sister was screaming at me, telling me I was useless and a slut and a whore and that I copy her things. The only thing she could think of was I copied dying my hair. I dyed my lavender. She died hers pink when she was 15! She's 19 now and hates me because I get "everything I want" this was while I was at my moms house. My mom wasn't doing anything, just letting it happen.

I had marched upstairs and went into my moms room, grabbed my blade that I had brought (I always carry one wherever I go) and locked myself in the bathroom. As far as my family knew I just wasn't feeling well, but I was cutting. I kept cutting until I felt the pain go away.

*end of thoughts*

"Jess... Jessica..." Tori kept saying to me, pulling me from my thoughts. "We're here you dumbass. " she said and got out of the car. I laughed and followed her. We got in and were seated. The host looked at my legs and the cuts. I knew this would happen, everywhere I go if I wear short shorts I get stares. Everywhere. Tori knew this, and she saw the host looking, so she gave me her jacket that had brought in case in got cold in the restaurant. I gave her a weak smile and sat down. I just kept my head down while Tori talked about the rest of the party and how she met a guy named Gavin, apparently they hit it off right away. Kinda like me and Calum.

After lunch Tori and I went shopping at our favorite stores. We went into A&F and started looking around. People, of course kept looking at me. Tori just told them to keep walking, that I wasn't just a freak show. That's why she was my best friend. She was with me through EVERYTHING. As we were looking around my phone went off 4 times. I had gotten 4 new twitter followers. @calum5SOS @luke5SOS @michael5SOS and @ashton5SOS I knew Calum had a band and I guess they did covers and stuff but I never really watched them. I followed them back and kept looking with Tori. Just then I saw someone that looked familiar. I saw her this morning across the hall from Calum's bedroom, I think it was his sister. The name on the door said Mali. I kinda just brushed it off because she had not seen me so she wouldn't know who I was.

And then....

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A/N: So this one had some meaning to it. The fight between my older sister and I did actually happen. I do not cut. I used to but Tori stopped. I cut my hips. This isn't something for you guys to say "I'm sorry" to me about. Don't. I don't need apologies. I'm done. I'm clean. It's in the past.

Anyway.

Yay 2 updates today! Hopefully I'll be able to update 2 times everyday!

So yeah.

Thanks for reading xxxxxxx