Staegma ✧ taejin

09

The VR character was scared.

No, not just scared. Shocked. Disappointed. Confused.

It took a while for the fact that there is a cockroach to sink in Taehyung's mind. The subtitles were gone in a flash — also the cockroach was now on his collar.

He screamed — a scream inaudible to Seokjin, and to anyone in Seokjin's universe. The real world.

The cockroach was crawling and crawling and crawling until it reached one of the buttons of his shirt. It seemed to be doing something to the buttons, or that's how Seokjin sees it.

So how will Taehyung handle this?

It moved from one button to the next. Then it was back to crawling all around the VR character's shirt — Taehyung's hands were flying as he tried to catch and throw it away.

But the cockroach soon crawled on to his hand, so he waved his hand like a maniac. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

Then it successfully left his hand and landed back to his shirt. Again.

Taehyung fell on the floor, panicking, as he tried to flick off the cockroach on himself. But the cockroach had landed on his letter to Seokjin.

No! Not the letter! Jin!

Taehyung was waving the paper gently, his hand trying to flick the cockroach off but always failing out of cowardice. Finally, the cockroach left the letter, but landed on Taehyung's button-up shirt.

Seokjin could only watch from his VR glasses as Taehyung was thrashing on the floor, knocking down the color pens he had on the desk, kicking and kicking and raising the letter up in the air.

Jin!

Taehyung was screaming inaudibly with watery eyes and his arm raised awkwardly, his letter to Seokjin avoiding the cockroach.

He was crying and kicking and screaming.

Jin please help me!

Seokjin was only fascinated at how Taehyung was drawn, created, to act realistically like a human person.

Jin I'm so scared

Taehyung was full-on crying now.

Jin help me please

The cockroach was crawling on his body, all the way up to his arm, and to his hand, where Taehyung was holding the letter.

Not the letter! Not the letter!

Then the cockroach went inside Taehyung's sleeve.

Jin please I'm so scared

Using his controller, Seokjin took Taehyung's sleeve, opening the buttons on the cuffs, and caught the cockroach who was interestingly doing nothing.

(He wasn't the least concerned because he isn't touching it in real life. Also, it was pretty well-drawn.)

He then opened Taehyung's window and threw the cockroach outside. When he looked back at his virtual boyfriend, he could only watch curiously as the boy tried to regain back his proper breathing.

But Taehyung is only a VR character. Nothing more.

Nothing less.

-

Taehyung's eyes were red-rimmed from crying, and his breathing was heavy as he repeatedly ran his hands on the letter on the top of the table. The paper was less presentable than when Seokjin arrived, but now it almost regressed back to normal.

In the real world, Seokjin could hear familiar footsteps outside his room. Yoongi was finally home from wherever he went.

"You okay there, kid?"

He looked up, disappointment evident in his face probably because Seokjin called him 'kid.'

I'm not a kid.

"Tae," Seokjin addressed sincerely this time. "Are you alright?"

The VR character mouthed the first syllable — Tae — in what Seokjin figured, in question. He must be not used to it.

"What, Tae?"

What is a Tay?

"It's spelled as T-A-E. It's like your nickname."

I like it.

"That wasn't the question. Are you okay?"

After having a cockroach inside your sleeve won't make things okay, Seokjin thought. He knew his question was stupid.

"Taehyung I'm asking you," he deepened his voice impulsively. "Are — you — all — right?"

It's stupid because it's a fixed question with a fixed answer.

Yes.

How natural.

"Are you still going to read me the letter?" Seokjin asked.

Only if you want to, Taehyung looked up at him.

"And if I don't?"

It's going in the trash.

"Really? But you worked on this."

It's no use if you don't want it. After all, it was made for you.

But Seokjin wasn't one for sentiments. He cared about the thought and effort, but not the message. Especially not the message.

"Don't throw it away! But don't read it either. Just keep it on a book somewhere," he snatched the letter and headed towards the bookshelf, randomly picking a book.

It was some informative book about Psychology, which seemed to be discussing the people behind it.
He randomly opened the book, stopping at a section about B. F. Skinner, and slipped the letter inside.

He sadly looked back at Taehyung, who isn't even close to recovered after the cockroach incident.

"Taehyung. . . I'm so sorry. . ."

It's okay.

". . .but it's fake love." Seokjin lost his melancholic appearance. "Anyway, I'm leaving. See you later."

Wait!

"What?"

Is it really fake love?

"Wow. Why you sad?"

Taehyung was holding back tears. I'm not.

"Don't lie to my face, Taehyung."

Why aren't you calling me Tae?

"What, are you expecting a cute couple nickname?"

No.

"Exactly. I'll see you later."

Seokjin paused the game to eat his lunch.