Taking sides

Chapter 13: Caring for a friend

At first, Lucy was a little shaky but as the days became weeks she became steadily worse in body and mind. It had been only been a month but to me it felt like a lifetime. I could only assume Lucy and Wystan felt the same. Lucy's pain was severe at times, and her mind was fracturing under a growing madness. We were slowly losing her. It was frightening to see her sliding away. At times we would find her rigid and uncommunicative, or her words would be nonsensical, it was difficult to understand where she was, but we wouldn't leave her there. We continued to no avail to reach her, we couldn't give up on her, as we knew wouldn't give up on us. Lucy was often my one and only focus, staying up all night with her when the pain was too much, attempting to comfort her when the fear threatened to overwhelm her. I was exhausted, I barely slept, rarely took the time to eat or drink as my mind was consumed by this horror show playing out before my eyes.

Wystan did what he could but is seemed at times he was as clueless as me despite being here longer than I. Maybe it was because Lucy was more than a fellow soldier. At times Wystan appeared to look terrified as he clung to Lucy telling her it would be ok. I wondered if he was trying to reassure himself also. I could see it was wearing upon him as he grew weary and sluggish. This seemed to serve as a reminder that this was to be a fate he would share.

Samson had tried to find a role suited to Lucy during her becoming. She had attempted to be my assistant in the healing tent but she needed more care than most that came to us for aid. The uncontrollable shaking had led to her dropping so many of my healing potions that we ran out. It became necessary for me to forage in the forest for more ingredients, so I took Lucy with me, hoping leaving the camp and wondering the forest may ease her mind but somehow in the forest she became more dazed, and she kept wondering off. I was horrified to turn from picking elfroot to find her missing. I looked around manically, crying out her name to only be met with silence. I was beginning to panic when luck led me to her. I heard a nug squeal in what I can only guess was alarm. I took to where I had heard the squeak emanated from and it was there I found Lucy sobbing, slumped against a tree. I was relieved to find her, but not in this state. This place used to her escape when she could hunt, but now there was no escape for her. "Bethan, I am freak. Even animals can see it," she exclaimed.

"No you're not," I tried to assure her, but it was beginning to sound hollow after being repeated daily.

I comforted her as best as I could. When we had returned to camp that day it had become clear she had no role until she turned into one of the horrors, as her tremoring hands and lapses made all roles beyond her.

So I took upon myself to speak to Samson upon her behalf, hoping to give her time away from her duties, as there were too many triggers that led her into blind panic. I would have brought her with me but I felt she was going through enough.

"General, may I speak with you?"

He glanced up at me through hooded eyes; he rubbed his temples as he remarked, "What is it?"

"I think Lucy needs time...away from her duties." I grimaced as I expected a tirade of abuse for be so presumptuous.

But he just strained to focus upon me and sighed heavily, "Fine."

"Really?" I exclaimed unintentionally. I was just taken back.

"Well, she is doing more harm than good to our cause. But she will soon be a true solider."

True solider those words seemed to linger in my mind, I wanted to question him but he looked as exhausted as I felt. So I let it pass by as I had gotten what I wanted, and there was no sense in pushing him or so I told myself. Why did I even still care?

My daily routine changed dramatically, as had the people on my mind. Training and healing often fell to the wayside, I had been reprimanded several times for neglecting my duties but I barely heard a word of it as my mind was always on Lucy.