the Reckless and the Brave (Sequel to Scream, to be Heard)

Cause you Break me Down

"Rian, you fat f***er!" I heard Jack scream as he fell out of his bunk. I took my head from Alex's chest, trying to breathe normally. Alex rubbed my back and just told me to go back to sleep. I nodded.

"What happened?" I asked, not remembering anything past when I couldn't stop crying for no reason.

"You had a panic attack," he said, his voice cracking from dryness. "You want to tell me what caused it?" I took a deep breath.

"I just had a flashback to Tom's death, only it was you instead of him," I said quietly.

"Well I'm not going to commit suicide," he said. "Trust me." I laughed in spite of the situation, and turned. Alex did the same because he was running out of room with us side by side, and I molded into his body's shape - straight except for our lower legs, which were tangled together in a heap. He slung an arm around me and one around my waist, and locked my hand with his, then kissed my temple softly. I then fell asleep again as I listened to Alex's short, steady breaths and tried to mimic them instead of my deep gasps. 

I woke up later and turned over, waking Alex as I let go of his hand. "I forgot," he said in a scratchy voice. "You're supposed to have water." He got up, my body instantly becoming cold without his heat. He came back a few moments later and handed me a water bottle, which I drank from even though I wasn't a bit thirsty. "Evan needs me for a little while, are you fine here? Can you sleep? Can you breathe?" I nodded.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," I said. He sighed.

"What am I thinking? You're not okay." Then he walked into the front lounge and said something to Jack, who instantly got up into the bunk and pulled me close so I literally couldn't breathe.

"Hey, snuggle buddy," he said happily, blowing his burrito-breath in my face. I looked at Alex, standing there.

"Alex, really?" He nodded.

"You know Jack won't let anything happen to you," he said. "See you later, princess." I saw him turn around, but didn't hear the bus door shut.

"Jack, please get off me," I said. "I'm supposed to sleep."

"Still, snuggling never hurt anybody," he said, wriggling his eyebrows. Oh heck no. 

"SPOONING LEADS TO FORKING!" I heard Zack shout.

"Don't worry, I'm not," I called back, then rolled over to the wall, and closed my eyes again. The next time I woke up it was time for the concert, so I changed into my ratty All Time Low t-shirt and some jeans, then pulled my hair up in a ponytail and exchanged my contacts for glasses, not bothering to put on makeup or actual shoes except for some lip gloss and Alex's old, holey converses. Then I went backstage where the guys were waiting to go on. Alex decided that my lap was a nice place for his head, so I just played with his hair while listening to We the Kings play, singing along to Check Yes Juliet and Heaven Can Wait, my favorites by them.

"You guys are on stage in five," Matt said, poking into the room. Alex took his head away and looked in the mirror, cursing like a sailor as he searched for a beanie and eventually grabbed one that belonged to Trevor from He is We, earning him a glare and a finger from Trevor, and then Rachel shouted back at him and made him apologize. I loved Rachel for doing that. Trevor's face turned red as I found Zack's iPad and scrolled through the apps before finding a non workout-related game. Well, it was Temple Run. So you weren't exactly working out. Then I went out and sang Remembering Sunday with Alex and he made a very disgusting joke as I took my place to do backup vocals for Too Much.

"So everyone say hello to my sister Heather, who is nice enough to sacrifice her sleep to see all of you people," Alex said.

"Shut up, Alex," I said. That earned a cheer from the crowd. "The thing he didn't tell you is that I just happen to have basically all of his baby pictures on my phone and I can post them on Facebook and Twitter if he isn't careful. I can also tell our parents that he's been a very naughty boy and let me drink Red Bull." The crowd laughed and cheered.